The stars are far away
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Someone
Someone to love
Someone to hold
Someone to talk to
When i'm really down
Someone to tell me " It will all be okay"
at the end of the day.
Someone to hug
Someone to cuddle
Someone to just sit there
and hold my hand.
Someone to be there
Someone to care
Someone to share
Someone to cry with
Someone to laugh with
Someone to dream with
That someone doesn't exist. ¶ 7:20 PM
Someone to hold
Someone to talk to
When i'm really down
Someone to tell me " It will all be okay"
at the end of the day.
Someone to hug
Someone to cuddle
Someone to just sit there
and hold my hand.
Someone to be there
Someone to care
Someone to share
Someone to cry with
Someone to laugh with
Someone to dream with
That someone doesn't exist. ¶ 7:20 PM
Count my blessings everyday
1) I have a loving family.
2) Papa and mama loves me and gives me almost eveything i want =)
3) I have Jac and pentagon.
4) I'm healthy ( other than being fat =x)
5) I have God in my life, He will be my guide
6) I met very lovely people this life who made an impact on my life.
7) Everyone at home is healthy and fine =)
8) People around me gives in to me.
9) School work is STILL managable.
10) I do not lack in any physical materials.
¶ 7:04 PM
2) Papa and mama loves me and gives me almost eveything i want =)
3) I have Jac and pentagon.
4) I'm healthy ( other than being fat =x)
5) I have God in my life, He will be my guide
6) I met very lovely people this life who made an impact on my life.
7) Everyone at home is healthy and fine =)
8) People around me gives in to me.
9) School work is STILL managable.
10) I do not lack in any physical materials.
¶ 7:04 PM
Now ! My life
I'm in a foul mood now. I don't know why. Haven't been updating much either. Oh well, i don't know. Everything is different now. Everything changed. I'm sick of the changes. I don't like the change one bit. Oh gosh, i feel like some pathetic human being roaming this earth, dreading every step. Every step that has gone wrong. Sigh sigh sigh sigh, that's all i know.
Every entry in my blog seems depressing and sad but i'm okay. I still smile and laugh. I haven't lose my smile yet. I'm fine just that i think more these days. I miss a lot of people and i mean a lot. The person might be beside me but i'll still miss that person. I miss the old you, the fun times we had. I miss the pentagon, i miss them being there for me whenever i need them. Now that we are different schools, even though i know they still care a lot for me, i still miss them and wished that they were with me. I miss Van, mal, cheryl and kz alot alot. I miss Hui Chun, i miss Nicole, i miss Xinling, i miss Dian. I miss them so much, they made tpjc so special. I wish we were back in the first 3 months. Maybe i just can't adapt for now, maybe all i need is time but for now, i wish someone would care for me, talk to me and give me a big hug. That's what i have been yearning for, a big big hug. Someone to tell me that the person cares. I guess i'm being emotional again but its so tiring to fend for yourself and do everything alone. I might be with a bunch of friends but its just different, its no much of a difference from being alone. Oh wells, everything happens for a reason. I have got to learn.
Lessons are more or less starting even though its still intro lectures. AO maths is going at bullet train speed and Mr Ong gets irritated very easily. It makes me frustrated to see him so lost and angry. I don't like it. Whenever i look at him, its like the sulky face. Oh yah, now i am the maths rep. yep yep. I'm not happy though. Shruggs.
Found out lots of things that i didn't know today. I'm dumbfounded. I don't know what to say but i kind of expected things to turn out this way. Call it instinct but oh well. Went home and read some things, left me feeling really lousy. The feeling is taking over. I don't understand if its human nature or something. Maybe its just me, this is my life and it happens to me. I think its just me.
Maybe its time to just immersed myself in school work and throw everything out of my life. I know i have a few things that i have to focus on. If i really do, i'll be really busy and i guess its the way i want my life to be now right. Probably. Its like a emotional rollarcoaster for me. I haven't alighted for it though, i'm turning, turning, turning...
I told myself I miss you, i miss you and that's all i know. ¶ 6:38 PM
Every entry in my blog seems depressing and sad but i'm okay. I still smile and laugh. I haven't lose my smile yet. I'm fine just that i think more these days. I miss a lot of people and i mean a lot. The person might be beside me but i'll still miss that person. I miss the old you, the fun times we had. I miss the pentagon, i miss them being there for me whenever i need them. Now that we are different schools, even though i know they still care a lot for me, i still miss them and wished that they were with me. I miss Van, mal, cheryl and kz alot alot. I miss Hui Chun, i miss Nicole, i miss Xinling, i miss Dian. I miss them so much, they made tpjc so special. I wish we were back in the first 3 months. Maybe i just can't adapt for now, maybe all i need is time but for now, i wish someone would care for me, talk to me and give me a big hug. That's what i have been yearning for, a big big hug. Someone to tell me that the person cares. I guess i'm being emotional again but its so tiring to fend for yourself and do everything alone. I might be with a bunch of friends but its just different, its no much of a difference from being alone. Oh wells, everything happens for a reason. I have got to learn.
Lessons are more or less starting even though its still intro lectures. AO maths is going at bullet train speed and Mr Ong gets irritated very easily. It makes me frustrated to see him so lost and angry. I don't like it. Whenever i look at him, its like the sulky face. Oh yah, now i am the maths rep. yep yep. I'm not happy though. Shruggs.
Found out lots of things that i didn't know today. I'm dumbfounded. I don't know what to say but i kind of expected things to turn out this way. Call it instinct but oh well. Went home and read some things, left me feeling really lousy. The feeling is taking over. I don't understand if its human nature or something. Maybe its just me, this is my life and it happens to me. I think its just me.
Maybe its time to just immersed myself in school work and throw everything out of my life. I know i have a few things that i have to focus on. If i really do, i'll be really busy and i guess its the way i want my life to be now right. Probably. Its like a emotional rollarcoaster for me. I haven't alighted for it though, i'm turning, turning, turning...
I told myself I miss you, i miss you and that's all i know. ¶ 6:38 PM
Friday, March 25, 2005
What i did on good friday ( Self explanatory)
Firstly, i went to my elder brother's room to disturb him while he was sleeping and i spotted something which arouse my interest- His black framed glasses that was beackoning me to wear it ( muahahas) and so i did =D. 
Everybody repeat after me and say " One !". =x
Does the black glasses suit me ? Hee hee...
I can't see..the flashlight is too bright *sniggers*
I am proud to be a geek =D
And now here are a few tips to torture your brothers muahahas ( evil laughs)
Presenting the victim: Penguin Kelvin Junior
All you have to do is tell him you are giving him a massage =D
The benefits of massaging your face *gives the innocent look*
And then, you tell him how good looking he is hahas.
Everybody repeat after me and say " One !". =x
Does the black glasses suit me ? Hee hee...
I can't see..the flashlight is too bright *sniggers*
I am proud to be a geek =D
And now here are a few tips to torture your brothers muahahas ( evil laughs)
Presenting the victim: Penguin Kelvin Junior
All you have to do is tell him you are giving him a massage =D
The benefits of massaging your face *gives the innocent look*
And then, you tell him how good looking he is hahas.
In the end, we still love each other very very much *beams*
( everybody say "aAwWWwWwWw ~" )
¶ 4:50 PM
As promised, hahas my new hairstyle. I like to let my hair down nowadays =D. However i can't tie up my hair properly yeps.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Gosh~ School ain't the same.
I dread going to school. The second orientation is totally redundant for me and i feel that its a waste of my time. All of a sudden, the teachers in tpjc starts breathing down our neck. Its so unexpected. Its makes me detest everything that is happening in tpjc. I wish they were more flexible. Oh well, i am not looking forward to school these days.
Lord, please grant me the serenity to accept things that i cannot change.
I am so glad that its good friday tomorrow. There's no training tomorrow. Finally, i can take a good, well deserved break.
I wish that the whole curriculum will start earlier. For the first time, I can't wait to be immersed in work. The whole orientation is so disorganised, i'm not going to give any credit to the Council interns. You guys just need to do more planning.
I bought my uniform, but it looks really wierd on me. Shall post a picture of me in tpjc uniform ya after i alter it =p. The blouse is too big for me, my shoulders don't even fit. i might change it to a small size top. The skirt is too long for me. I don't want to end up mopping the grounds of tpjc ya know. The blouse is really stiff too, maybe it needs a good wash hahas. Oh well, i think my mama should know better. I'll ask her tonight. That's when the advice of parents are useful *sniggers*.
I bought a black adidas bottle too. I was thinking its really inconvenient to change my bottle constantly as i will always need it for training. I might as well invest in a good waterbottle yeps. Haha so with the help of Nicole and Xinling, i bought the black adidas bottle. The more i look at it, the more i like it. Muahaha. Anyway i can't use metal waterbottles because i'm afraid i will drop it and dent it. yeps, its not that i don't like the winnie the pooh bottle ya *gives innocent look*. ( Esp to pentagon ) hahas.
Yesterday after training, Michelle talked to me and told me, " Maybe if you know him better, you'll realise he's not really the one for you. Then you'll be able to forget him." ( not her exact words ) I thought about it and i gave it serious thoughts but until now, i haven't came to a conclusion. Anyway thanks ya Michelle, i appreciate your advice. =D You're so sweet =p.
All i want to tell you now is take care of yourself, get well soon but i'm afraid, afraid to care for you. ¶ 4:08 PM
Lord, please grant me the serenity to accept things that i cannot change.
I am so glad that its good friday tomorrow. There's no training tomorrow. Finally, i can take a good, well deserved break.
I wish that the whole curriculum will start earlier. For the first time, I can't wait to be immersed in work. The whole orientation is so disorganised, i'm not going to give any credit to the Council interns. You guys just need to do more planning.
I bought my uniform, but it looks really wierd on me. Shall post a picture of me in tpjc uniform ya after i alter it =p. The blouse is too big for me, my shoulders don't even fit. i might change it to a small size top. The skirt is too long for me. I don't want to end up mopping the grounds of tpjc ya know. The blouse is really stiff too, maybe it needs a good wash hahas. Oh well, i think my mama should know better. I'll ask her tonight. That's when the advice of parents are useful *sniggers*.
I bought a black adidas bottle too. I was thinking its really inconvenient to change my bottle constantly as i will always need it for training. I might as well invest in a good waterbottle yeps. Haha so with the help of Nicole and Xinling, i bought the black adidas bottle. The more i look at it, the more i like it. Muahaha. Anyway i can't use metal waterbottles because i'm afraid i will drop it and dent it. yeps, its not that i don't like the winnie the pooh bottle ya *gives innocent look*. ( Esp to pentagon ) hahas.
Yesterday after training, Michelle talked to me and told me, " Maybe if you know him better, you'll realise he's not really the one for you. Then you'll be able to forget him." ( not her exact words ) I thought about it and i gave it serious thoughts but until now, i haven't came to a conclusion. Anyway thanks ya Michelle, i appreciate your advice. =D You're so sweet =p.
All i want to tell you now is take care of yourself, get well soon but i'm afraid, afraid to care for you. ¶ 4:08 PM
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
One year
Its been a year. Exactly a year. I managed to survive. For an instance, i thought i would never move on but i guess one year is enough for me to see things that love has blinded. 22 March, i'll never forget how i felt standing at the balcony, looking down. I'll never forget that feeling and the tears i shed for you. I'll never ever forget you, my first love.
I wanted to go to our playground just to sit down alone and see how it has changed. Maybe it hasn't changed at all. I decided not to eventually and i ended up meeting you in the interchange and we went home together. We chose not to talk about it ever since we broke up. You never explained anything, you never cared to tell me why. You simply chose silence as your answer to me. ¶ 8:40 PM
I wanted to go to our playground just to sit down alone and see how it has changed. Maybe it hasn't changed at all. I decided not to eventually and i ended up meeting you in the interchange and we went home together. We chose not to talk about it ever since we broke up. You never explained anything, you never cared to tell me why. You simply chose silence as your answer to me. ¶ 8:40 PM
Don't ask me why
I feel lost now, don't ask me why.
I feel confused now, don't ask me why.
I feel guilty now, don't ask me why.
I feel tired now, don't ask me why.
I feel sad now, don't ask me why.
I feel jealous now, don't ask me why.
I feel insignifican now, don't ask me why.
And yes, i'm going back to tpjc. ( No special feelings about it )
I think i need a big hug now.
I'm feel loved now, don't ask me why.
I'm feel overjoyed now, don't ask me why.
I'm feel excited now, don't ask me why.
I'm feel grateful now, don't ask me why.
I'm feel exhilarated now, don't ask me why.
I'm feel breathless now, don't ask me why.
I'm feel important now, don't ask me why.
Things are going to be different from now on.
I still need a big hug. ¶ 9:58 AM
I feel confused now, don't ask me why.
I feel guilty now, don't ask me why.
I feel tired now, don't ask me why.
I feel sad now, don't ask me why.
I feel jealous now, don't ask me why.
I feel insignifican now, don't ask me why.
And yes, i'm going back to tpjc. ( No special feelings about it )
I think i need a big hug now.
I'm feel loved now, don't ask me why.
I'm feel overjoyed now, don't ask me why.
I'm feel excited now, don't ask me why.
I'm feel grateful now, don't ask me why.
I'm feel exhilarated now, don't ask me why.
I'm feel breathless now, don't ask me why.
I'm feel important now, don't ask me why.
Things are going to be different from now on.
I still need a big hug. ¶ 9:58 AM
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Me !!! =D
This is me when i was younger ( Duh ~!!) I look so cute right muahahaha. I'm trying to imitate Lydia haha =x ¶ 1:16 PM
This is me when i was younger ( Duh ~!!) I look so cute right muahahaha. I'm trying to imitate Lydia haha =x ¶ 1:16 PM
Friday, March 18, 2005
Ignore this post too just venting my frustration
Apparently my little brother is pissed. Reason being, I don't know. I asked him to call my Dad and he says " you think i'm the telephone operator ?" Oh my gosh, this are the times i wish i wasn't so nice to him, He just made my mood worse. Like hello, if you are angry, it doesn't mean you can treat me like that okay dude. I am in a foul mood too okay. You have no idea what i went through today. You know how to sprout profanities, i do too okay. Its just that i don't want to insult you with that. I respect you, treat you like a grow up. Whatever lar okay, i think everybody hates me. Paranoid, i feel like crying *Sigh* Lord, please talk to me.
¶ 8:30 PM
A letter, D'amore
Its another whiny and useless entry so yep just skip it =D
A letter to you ( One that you will never get to read )
Hello there the guy that i am accidentally in love with,
I never meant to fall for you, i mean it. If i could help it, i wouldn't have fell for you so i could spare myself all the agony that i am going through now. Do you know every night i wait for you, just to say a simple "Hi" and " How are you ", to find out if you are still upset. To let you know if you are hurt, i'm here for you. I always will, you just have to turn around and i'll be there. I don't know if you realise that I actually feel for you, but i guess it doesn't really matter ya. You are always preoccupied with thoughts about her. To you, i am nothing but a passer by. I can leave any time and your life will still be the same. Nothing will change. I know, i know how insignificant i am. From the very beginning i knew that you like her, that you were interested in her but i had to fall for you. I feel dumb but i didn't choose to like you. My heart is attracted to you. I'm feeling really sick and tired of pretending i don't care, that i can just accept the fact that you like her and everything will be okay. I feel that you treat me like an accquaitance, nothing more than that. I'm not even a friend. I tried to reach into your world, to try and understand you more. I would really like to understand you more but i guess you wouldn't want me to. I had to remind myself so many times that admiration should be beautiful but i can't do it. I'm not so noble to pretend nothing is happening. To pretend that i cannot see the things you do for her, to see the way you care for you and the way your eyes always turn to look at her. Everytime i hear about you smsing her or talking to her online, do you know how i feel? The feeling is beyond description. Its like tearing my heart and soul. You are the second guy to make me feel like that. I feel that my world is a standstill, stagnant. I wish you could care a little more for me. Just a little more, like a friend. I would be happy enough but now i guess there's no turning back for the both of us. Am i right? Do you know how i felt sitting so close to you and her today? I felt like walking away, i felt like leaving. I didn't look at you, not even once. Do you know why ? I think i would just start crying if i look into your eyes. I tried so hard, but all you notice is her. I am so tired of trying. i wish you knew how i feel but i guess you wouldn't care, would you? You don't need me in your life that's why i'm leaving it. Yes, this letter is to tell you that i'm leaving. Walking out of your life. Are you feeling happy ? I guess so...
Love,
me.
I look at you, looking at her and tell myself " She's the luckiest girl in the World" ¶ 6:02 PM
A letter to you ( One that you will never get to read )
Hello there the guy that i am accidentally in love with,
I never meant to fall for you, i mean it. If i could help it, i wouldn't have fell for you so i could spare myself all the agony that i am going through now. Do you know every night i wait for you, just to say a simple "Hi" and " How are you ", to find out if you are still upset. To let you know if you are hurt, i'm here for you. I always will, you just have to turn around and i'll be there. I don't know if you realise that I actually feel for you, but i guess it doesn't really matter ya. You are always preoccupied with thoughts about her. To you, i am nothing but a passer by. I can leave any time and your life will still be the same. Nothing will change. I know, i know how insignificant i am. From the very beginning i knew that you like her, that you were interested in her but i had to fall for you. I feel dumb but i didn't choose to like you. My heart is attracted to you. I'm feeling really sick and tired of pretending i don't care, that i can just accept the fact that you like her and everything will be okay. I feel that you treat me like an accquaitance, nothing more than that. I'm not even a friend. I tried to reach into your world, to try and understand you more. I would really like to understand you more but i guess you wouldn't want me to. I had to remind myself so many times that admiration should be beautiful but i can't do it. I'm not so noble to pretend nothing is happening. To pretend that i cannot see the things you do for her, to see the way you care for you and the way your eyes always turn to look at her. Everytime i hear about you smsing her or talking to her online, do you know how i feel? The feeling is beyond description. Its like tearing my heart and soul. You are the second guy to make me feel like that. I feel that my world is a standstill, stagnant. I wish you could care a little more for me. Just a little more, like a friend. I would be happy enough but now i guess there's no turning back for the both of us. Am i right? Do you know how i felt sitting so close to you and her today? I felt like walking away, i felt like leaving. I didn't look at you, not even once. Do you know why ? I think i would just start crying if i look into your eyes. I tried so hard, but all you notice is her. I am so tired of trying. i wish you knew how i feel but i guess you wouldn't care, would you? You don't need me in your life that's why i'm leaving it. Yes, this letter is to tell you that i'm leaving. Walking out of your life. Are you feeling happy ? I guess so...
Love,
me.
I look at you, looking at her and tell myself " She's the luckiest girl in the World" ¶ 6:02 PM
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Thank you Cheryl !
A message to Cheryl: Today was a whole lot of fun. Thank you Cheryl. I enjoyed myself a lot and my mum is really glad that i got her to book. Hahas have to thank you. Huggies !
Okay peeps, yep i went to "study" with Cheryl today. I confess we were yacking away most of the time but at least i finished Lecture 5 of History okay. =p ( The reasons for war). I remembered okay. Hahas. Yup Cheryl is so nice okay, she knows that i like Winnie the Pooh so she asked me if i would like to go for a movie later after studying and the movie is none other than *drum rolls* Pooh's heffalump movie =D. She's such a darling. However as it was the school holidays and the spongebob square pants movie just came out, the queue was oh my gosh !!!! Cheryl and me decided to go K box instead. Whee hee and i had so much fun just sing and going out of tune and Cheryl trying to chord with me. Hahas oh man, it was so fun. Sorry ya made you sing even though you had a bad cough and sore throat. Hee hee anyway yep i had so much fun. I shall not talk about another incident that happened. ShHhHhhhhhh.
Went to do some visiting with some Church saints later. Felt really good =D Praise the Lord ! May we abound in love ya =)
This is going to be the final time i try to get to you, to reach out into your world. The world which i don't belong in. I should have known. ¶ 10:28 PM
Okay peeps, yep i went to "study" with Cheryl today. I confess we were yacking away most of the time but at least i finished Lecture 5 of History okay. =p ( The reasons for war). I remembered okay. Hahas. Yup Cheryl is so nice okay, she knows that i like Winnie the Pooh so she asked me if i would like to go for a movie later after studying and the movie is none other than *drum rolls* Pooh's heffalump movie =D. She's such a darling. However as it was the school holidays and the spongebob square pants movie just came out, the queue was oh my gosh !!!! Cheryl and me decided to go K box instead. Whee hee and i had so much fun just sing and going out of tune and Cheryl trying to chord with me. Hahas oh man, it was so fun. Sorry ya made you sing even though you had a bad cough and sore throat. Hee hee anyway yep i had so much fun. I shall not talk about another incident that happened. ShHhHhhhhhh.
Went to do some visiting with some Church saints later. Felt really good =D Praise the Lord ! May we abound in love ya =)
This is going to be the final time i try to get to you, to reach out into your world. The world which i don't belong in. I should have known. ¶ 10:28 PM
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
05A02 + Band Camp (Day2)
Okay yesterday was a super super busy day !!!!!! To cut it short, i went out with 05A02 to seoul garden *yummies* and then to east coast. haha i took lots of photos with my camera, will post it up real soon ya *beams* I just want to say 05A02 rocks. Too bad Nicole, Xinling and Hui Chun weren't there. Bet it would have been a lot of fun with them around hahas.
I rushed around like some mad women and finally i managed to reach temasek, just in turn for the briefing for the confidence walk haha. Cheryl and i were stationed at the first few stations. It wasn't as fun as i thought being a station master. Deng~ haha *gives the bored look* but i did manage to scare a few people. I just sat down and did nothing. Muahahas I managed to scare Tong tong ( wilfred), Wei yang and Ghee Cheng. Hahas Wei Yang's reaction is the worst okay. He was like practically jumping and screaming at the same time. Silly you~ haha i feel triumphant ! Oh well confidence walk is a whole lot more fun walking it. ( Like real hahas) *wink*
To those who i scared, oOps sorry guys hahas don't blame me okay =D I'm actually very nice. Hee hee take note of the word actually.
I wanna be the girl he looks at from across the room, smiles, and says to his friends, "That's her." ¶ 6:29 PM
I rushed around like some mad women and finally i managed to reach temasek, just in turn for the briefing for the confidence walk haha. Cheryl and i were stationed at the first few stations. It wasn't as fun as i thought being a station master. Deng~ haha *gives the bored look* but i did manage to scare a few people. I just sat down and did nothing. Muahahas I managed to scare Tong tong ( wilfred), Wei yang and Ghee Cheng. Hahas Wei Yang's reaction is the worst okay. He was like practically jumping and screaming at the same time. Silly you~ haha i feel triumphant ! Oh well confidence walk is a whole lot more fun walking it. ( Like real hahas) *wink*
To those who i scared, oOps sorry guys hahas don't blame me okay =D I'm actually very nice. Hee hee take note of the word actually.
I wanna be the girl he looks at from across the room, smiles, and says to his friends, "That's her." ¶ 6:29 PM
Twe Band Camp
Twe Band Camp (Day 1)
I spent the first 2 days of my holidays back in Temasek Secondary. Once again its band. I guess i will never ever be able to be free from band. I'm fated to be band orientated hahas. Anyway yup it rocks being an alumni okay ! *beams* It was so fun, just walk around slack slack and talk to the juniors, oOps i mean teach the juniors. They are so adorable. I like my section's sec ones. They are so bubbly and chatty. They are enthusiastic and fun learners too. What more can you ask for right, an inquisitive mind and thirst for knowledge. Hahas i asked them to guess my age and i think this girl called Hui Ling uttered "19 or 20 ! ". I was like "oh my gosh, i am so hurt !" 20 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hello !~ I can't even watch a M18 show yet. I think i'm going to die of depression after hearing that. I might even consider looking for a plastic surgeon to correct my inperfections. *faints* They say that children don't lie, so maybe i do look old. Oh no somebody save me ! Hahas kids these days, they don't spare a thought for my feelings sobs.
After teaching the sec ones, i went down with teresa to visit the senior band. Muahaha and as usual we gossip and gossip about the stuff that were going on. I love Yi Xiong. He is so adorable. He always says " I miss you" . That's so sweet right. At least somebody appreciates me. Then i always squeeze him and give him a super big heart. He is such a darling hahas. The section sounded really good =D well done Xingwen and Xinling. I'm so proud of you guys. And the rest of the section, i know how much efforts you guys have put in. Kudos ! Love you guys =D The section blended pretty well and the high notes had a significant improvement. There were some parts like the running notes that are still weak. Work on them ya. You guys are capable of scaling to greater heights. Prove Glosz that the clarinet section isn't a section to be messed with ya. Yeah !!~
That reminds me I miss playing the Clarinet.
Anyway i went home to bath ( I am a good girl ) and went back after that to discuss about the confidence walk. Then we went for supper and stuff. I was so happy to be able sleep in the air conditioned air con room. whee..did i ever tell you that being an alumni rocks ! hahas. Anyway Cheryl, Mal and me went to lie down on the carpet first and started talking. It felt really nostalgic to talk like that once again, to just talk without any restriction and yack and yack. I miss them, i miss the pentagon. They are a part of me i'll never forget.
Hakim came over to lie down too and i started to talk to him. I miss talking to him in. It felt really good to be able to talk to him again. I asked him a few questions and he told me a few stuff about his life. =D Glad that he is fine. He is the first smoker that i like. After talking to him, i realise not all smokers are bad people but i wished he quit smoking even though he admits it is hard.
I messaged him too and told him that the stars in the school was lovely. Tms has the loveliest view of the stars at night. Its breathtaking. I told him that the stars remind me of him and once again he started to talk rubbish. He was like " so i presume you message a lot of people since there are lots of stars in the sky ?" and another one was " oh so you message me to make me jealous that i can't see that stars?". He is just so witty, can't help smiling when i read his messages but i guess he will never feel the same way as i do.
To rekindle a lost friendship makes me want to treasure a person more. ¶ 10:14 AM
I spent the first 2 days of my holidays back in Temasek Secondary. Once again its band. I guess i will never ever be able to be free from band. I'm fated to be band orientated hahas. Anyway yup it rocks being an alumni okay ! *beams* It was so fun, just walk around slack slack and talk to the juniors, oOps i mean teach the juniors. They are so adorable. I like my section's sec ones. They are so bubbly and chatty. They are enthusiastic and fun learners too. What more can you ask for right, an inquisitive mind and thirst for knowledge. Hahas i asked them to guess my age and i think this girl called Hui Ling uttered "19 or 20 ! ". I was like "oh my gosh, i am so hurt !" 20 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hello !~ I can't even watch a M18 show yet. I think i'm going to die of depression after hearing that. I might even consider looking for a plastic surgeon to correct my inperfections. *faints* They say that children don't lie, so maybe i do look old. Oh no somebody save me ! Hahas kids these days, they don't spare a thought for my feelings sobs.
After teaching the sec ones, i went down with teresa to visit the senior band. Muahaha and as usual we gossip and gossip about the stuff that were going on. I love Yi Xiong. He is so adorable. He always says " I miss you" . That's so sweet right. At least somebody appreciates me. Then i always squeeze him and give him a super big heart. He is such a darling hahas. The section sounded really good =D well done Xingwen and Xinling. I'm so proud of you guys. And the rest of the section, i know how much efforts you guys have put in. Kudos ! Love you guys =D The section blended pretty well and the high notes had a significant improvement. There were some parts like the running notes that are still weak. Work on them ya. You guys are capable of scaling to greater heights. Prove Glosz that the clarinet section isn't a section to be messed with ya. Yeah !!~
That reminds me I miss playing the Clarinet.
Anyway i went home to bath ( I am a good girl ) and went back after that to discuss about the confidence walk. Then we went for supper and stuff. I was so happy to be able sleep in the air conditioned air con room. whee..did i ever tell you that being an alumni rocks ! hahas. Anyway Cheryl, Mal and me went to lie down on the carpet first and started talking. It felt really nostalgic to talk like that once again, to just talk without any restriction and yack and yack. I miss them, i miss the pentagon. They are a part of me i'll never forget.
Hakim came over to lie down too and i started to talk to him. I miss talking to him in. It felt really good to be able to talk to him again. I asked him a few questions and he told me a few stuff about his life. =D Glad that he is fine. He is the first smoker that i like. After talking to him, i realise not all smokers are bad people but i wished he quit smoking even though he admits it is hard.
I messaged him too and told him that the stars in the school was lovely. Tms has the loveliest view of the stars at night. Its breathtaking. I told him that the stars remind me of him and once again he started to talk rubbish. He was like " so i presume you message a lot of people since there are lots of stars in the sky ?" and another one was " oh so you message me to make me jealous that i can't see that stars?". He is just so witty, can't help smiling when i read his messages but i guess he will never feel the same way as i do.
To rekindle a lost friendship makes me want to treasure a person more. ¶ 10:14 AM
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Snip snip snip
I just had a haircut, now my head feels really light. Its very layered though so i can't tie my hair up but oh well i'm quite satisfied with the haircut =). I look like some punkster =x haha i'll post my photo up when my brother installs the programme ya.
Just a note: I realise that i have a weak spot for bad boys *despo* ¶ 6:35 PM
Just a note: I realise that i have a weak spot for bad boys *despo* ¶ 6:35 PM
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Music Is It 12 March' 05
12 March'05. Music Is It. Its a charity event for the Straits Times pocket money fund.
Yep yep i went back to Temasek Secondary for "Music Is It". I think i'm going to go deaf pretty soon, there were like so many bands in the performance. As in rock bands, heavy metel bands. I pity my ears, like oh my gosh *ouch*. It was deafening ! But i must say, not that i'm being biased or anything but "Afterworld" ( Last year's charity concert) was more well organised. I enjoyed "Afterworld" more =x.
Anyway "Music Is It" brought back many memories and i was feeling all nostalgic. It a totally different feel you get when you come back for school events as an alumni. It was so much fun. We acted like we didn't know anyone there and screamed and cheered ! Whee ~ The people sitting around us were giving us all the wierd look like we just landed from Mars. *sticks tongue out* There was also a couple sitting in front of me. The guy is from tpjc and the girl is from temasek. Let's just say they couldn't get their hands off each other *beams*. They became another part of the concert if you get what i mean. Hahas =x Overall kudos to all the performers, organizing committee for all their effort and hard work !
There were also alumnis performing for "Music is it". I saw Hakim and boy has he changed. Looking at him, i can't keeping thinking about the times when we were still in sec 1 and 2. We used to talk and rattle on and on about pratically everything. Crappy bunch ! I can't deny that i kind of miss talking to him and stuff. I wonder how he is now, like all the things going around his life. Yet another friendship that has gone to waste.
Then all the dance performances reminded me of a certain friend of me. Sadly he didn't come back to perform for "Music is it" this year. I miss seeing him dance on stage. It brings back lots of memories muahaha, the happy, the sad and the foolish ones.
"Music is it" wasn't just a Charity concert for me. It made me realise the friendships that were lost along the years.
Note: Another a lighter note, this stupid Kuching ! ( He knows who he is) said that i'm always talking about guys on my blog. Fine, i shall start talking more about girls in my blog okay. Meanie ! Bad Kuching !
Oh yah and i exchanged my phone with that stupid Kuching for 2 weeks, its such a thrilling thing to do muahaha.
¶ 11:06 PM
Yep yep i went back to Temasek Secondary for "Music Is It". I think i'm going to go deaf pretty soon, there were like so many bands in the performance. As in rock bands, heavy metel bands. I pity my ears, like oh my gosh *ouch*. It was deafening ! But i must say, not that i'm being biased or anything but "Afterworld" ( Last year's charity concert) was more well organised. I enjoyed "Afterworld" more =x.
Anyway "Music Is It" brought back many memories and i was feeling all nostalgic. It a totally different feel you get when you come back for school events as an alumni. It was so much fun. We acted like we didn't know anyone there and screamed and cheered ! Whee ~ The people sitting around us were giving us all the wierd look like we just landed from Mars. *sticks tongue out* There was also a couple sitting in front of me. The guy is from tpjc and the girl is from temasek. Let's just say they couldn't get their hands off each other *beams*. They became another part of the concert if you get what i mean. Hahas =x Overall kudos to all the performers, organizing committee for all their effort and hard work !
There were also alumnis performing for "Music is it". I saw Hakim and boy has he changed. Looking at him, i can't keeping thinking about the times when we were still in sec 1 and 2. We used to talk and rattle on and on about pratically everything. Crappy bunch ! I can't deny that i kind of miss talking to him and stuff. I wonder how he is now, like all the things going around his life. Yet another friendship that has gone to waste.
Then all the dance performances reminded me of a certain friend of me. Sadly he didn't come back to perform for "Music is it" this year. I miss seeing him dance on stage. It brings back lots of memories muahaha, the happy, the sad and the foolish ones.
"Music is it" wasn't just a Charity concert for me. It made me realise the friendships that were lost along the years.
Note: Another a lighter note, this stupid Kuching ! ( He knows who he is) said that i'm always talking about guys on my blog. Fine, i shall start talking more about girls in my blog okay. Meanie ! Bad Kuching !
Oh yah and i exchanged my phone with that stupid Kuching for 2 weeks, its such a thrilling thing to do muahaha.
¶ 11:06 PM
Thursday, March 10, 2005
The Second time i cried for you
I cried because of him today. It makes me feel really silly. I feel dumb. I tired to cheer him up when he was hurt, when he was confused and hurt by her. All i got in return was another person who end up hurting me. Both of us did the same thing for you but you were happy because she gave you chocolates to cheer you up. Does it sound farmilar? I did the same thing for you, i really did. You just don't see it. You just don't see me, plain simple me.
"I remember what you said to me that made me fall for you the day we met... it was something like, 'Hi.'" ¶ 5:05 PM
"I remember what you said to me that made me fall for you the day we met... it was something like, 'Hi.'" ¶ 5:05 PM
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Mr Gay motivated me today *beams* All of a sudden, i am very motivated to study really hard for him. The whole class skipped his lesson yesterday. He isn't furious, not even angry. He is just dissappointed. He didn't start to rattle non stop at our ears. He talked to us in a very clam manner. Mr Gay is just so patient with us that it makes me feel bad. Hui Chun turned around and told me that she feels the same way. He is helping 4 of my classmates to get the humanities scholarship by putting in good words for them because the person who is in charge of the scholarship, Mr Ong asked about the students' conduct. He's such a darling right. Anyway i'm pretty lost in History so i'm going to do my reading up later. =D C'mon people, praise me praise me =p. I tidied up all my files (except ao maths, surprisingly). I'm going to do it later haha because there are just too many worksheets for ao maths. Lalala ~I want to be diligent !! *wink* i want to get my life back.
Anyway since the day i sprained my ankle ( which was like 5 days ago) i have already fallen down the stairs 3 times. Like congrats =D Badminton training is tomorrow. Yi Xiang says he is going to bench me (>_<) if he thinks i'm not well. Oh man, leggie, anklie, please recover soon ! I want to be able to play tomorrow.
What does it mean to care for someone? What does it mean to love someone?What does it mean to have feelings for someone? What does it mean to want to know someone? It seems that you have all the answers, won't you please enlighten me now? ¶ 7:42 PM
Anyway since the day i sprained my ankle ( which was like 5 days ago) i have already fallen down the stairs 3 times. Like congrats =D Badminton training is tomorrow. Yi Xiang says he is going to bench me (>_<) if he thinks i'm not well. Oh man, leggie, anklie, please recover soon ! I want to be able to play tomorrow.
What does it mean to care for someone? What does it mean to love someone?What does it mean to have feelings for someone? What does it mean to want to know someone? It seems that you have all the answers, won't you please enlighten me now? ¶ 7:42 PM
Monday, March 07, 2005
Suddenly..
In this life, i believe that something wonderful will happen to me. I'm just waiting, waiting for it to actually occur. Till then i'll hold fast to my hope and wait for you to enter my life.
¶ 7:47 PM
Sunday, March 06, 2005
You: " Thanks for the chocolates"
Me: "Welcome"
You:"Haha"
Me:"Haha"
End of conversation. That's how much i mean to you. Sigh.
I feel like breaking into a dance now. Just free myself and dance like never before, just spin around with the beat of the music. I have so much to say but i don't what to say. Did you ever have this feeling where you have so much to tell someone but it just can't come out of your mouth? ¶ 8:39 PM
Me: "Welcome"
You:"Haha"
Me:"Haha"
End of conversation. That's how much i mean to you. Sigh.
I feel like breaking into a dance now. Just free myself and dance like never before, just spin around with the beat of the music. I have so much to say but i don't what to say. Did you ever have this feeling where you have so much to tell someone but it just can't come out of your mouth? ¶ 8:39 PM
Saturday, March 05, 2005
I'm right
I was right, you couldn't care more for me. You don't care about me at all. Everything i do means nothing to you. I'm not doing it for fun you know. Anyway i should be used to it by now. You care more for her. You haven't even sms me to ask about my ankle. I've been waiting the whole night for you message. Oh well, i'm used to it.
My ankle hurts, it hurts really badly. I can't even walk and you don't care. ¶ 1:36 PM
My ankle hurts, it hurts really badly. I can't even walk and you don't care. ¶ 1:36 PM
Friday, March 04, 2005
All in a day's work
When i found out that you got 2 A's and 1 b for your A level, i just felt happy for you. It was this pure simple joy that i had inside. =D I was so worried that you would be disappointed in your results but when i saw your smile, i know everything turned out fine. I couldn't help smiling when i think about you. I almost wanted to give you a big big hug. I'm just so happy for you, silly boy. Now that i know you did well, i guess i should just walk out of your life right. Afterall, she means more to you than i do. I'm nothing more than a mere accquaintance that you met. No matter what i do for you, you will still be oblivious towards it because she is there. There's nothing much i wished for but i must say she's a lucky girl. I do feel hurt that every single thing that i have done for you all amounts to nothing but like what i promised myself, today would be the last time i do something for you. You are a wonderful senior, you really are.
Anyway i sprained my ankle really badly during badminton training today. Yi Qiang wanted to train our agility so we started to play this game which requires lots of running, something similar to "catching". Yi Qiang chased after me and wala..i tripped over the log with a very bad sprain. Its the first time i sprained my ankle. It was so swollen. Initially i thought it was only a minor twist, nothing serious but gradually it started to swell and i couldn't walk. I became the hopper for today haha, hop hop hop. Anyway i cried because it really really hurt and guess what i didn't think about xxxxxx, i thought about my senior. I thought about you. I wished you were there to make me laugh. Oh well, it doesn't really matter anyway. You didn't really bother other than say " do you want me to carry you home?". I noticed you kept looking her way. Its her her her in your mind. I wonder how would you react if she was the one who hurted herself. I don't know what i am feeling now. I want you to be there for me yet i don't think i have feelings for you. I just want to depend on you, someone to lean on when i'm down.
The way i love someone is like the way i play badminton i guess. My footwork is really really slow and furthermore i'm short so that's double disadvantage. If someone does a loobing, i'm pretty much dead unless i pick up on my agility. Edwin tested me on wednesday and that was what he did, a loob and then a drop. I was dead because i didn't chase after the shuttle. In love its the same thing, i don't chase after the thing that i want. I am rather passive and rather admire from a distance than take practical actions. I guess to me, this is what i call romance, bittersweet romance. I don't mind being the one liking secretly, i don't mind waiting. On a more serious note, i really need to pick up on my footwork if i want to be prepared for the upcoming pilot pen competition. Edwin hinted that a group of us would be playing doubles, i think its me haha. Wonder who my partner might be. *anticipates*
Oh yah for those who are interested in my O level results, hahas i'm staying in tpjc. I scored 17 for my L1R5. It isn't very good but its good enough to let me stay in tpjc so i praise the Lord. =D I will sing of Your praise through endless days.
¶ 9:10 PM
Anyway i sprained my ankle really badly during badminton training today. Yi Qiang wanted to train our agility so we started to play this game which requires lots of running, something similar to "catching". Yi Qiang chased after me and wala..i tripped over the log with a very bad sprain. Its the first time i sprained my ankle. It was so swollen. Initially i thought it was only a minor twist, nothing serious but gradually it started to swell and i couldn't walk. I became the hopper for today haha, hop hop hop. Anyway i cried because it really really hurt and guess what i didn't think about xxxxxx, i thought about my senior. I thought about you. I wished you were there to make me laugh. Oh well, it doesn't really matter anyway. You didn't really bother other than say " do you want me to carry you home?". I noticed you kept looking her way. Its her her her in your mind. I wonder how would you react if she was the one who hurted herself. I don't know what i am feeling now. I want you to be there for me yet i don't think i have feelings for you. I just want to depend on you, someone to lean on when i'm down.
The way i love someone is like the way i play badminton i guess. My footwork is really really slow and furthermore i'm short so that's double disadvantage. If someone does a loobing, i'm pretty much dead unless i pick up on my agility. Edwin tested me on wednesday and that was what he did, a loob and then a drop. I was dead because i didn't chase after the shuttle. In love its the same thing, i don't chase after the thing that i want. I am rather passive and rather admire from a distance than take practical actions. I guess to me, this is what i call romance, bittersweet romance. I don't mind being the one liking secretly, i don't mind waiting. On a more serious note, i really need to pick up on my footwork if i want to be prepared for the upcoming pilot pen competition. Edwin hinted that a group of us would be playing doubles, i think its me haha. Wonder who my partner might be. *anticipates*
Oh yah for those who are interested in my O level results, hahas i'm staying in tpjc. I scored 17 for my L1R5. It isn't very good but its good enough to let me stay in tpjc so i praise the Lord. =D I will sing of Your praise through endless days.
Note: My ankle hurts really bad !!!! *ouch*
¶ 9:10 PM
