The stars are far away
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Okay people, guess what.. I got a new maid !!! *screams* i'm going to have a new maid in approximately an hour or so. My previous maid has been sent back to the agency. There's only 2 person in the house, my grandmother and me. Instead of the usual my grandmother, maid and me. *sniggers* I didn't like my previous maid one bit. She was rather scary and i was very weary of her. Thoughts that she would poisoned the food did surface in my head pretty often. =x Let's see..she has been with my family for 2 years yet she still isn't used to the routine and the things she has to do at home, like the household chores..and her cooking hasn't really improved though she did make some effort. ( have to praise her for that) but oh well her attitude hasn't change at all. C'mon she's thirty plus ( one of the oldest maid i had so far), mother of three, yet she behaves like some immature teenager ( basically like me *grin* ) She dares to shout at my mother when my mother tells me what to do. Its undeniable that my mother can be naggy at times but no matter what, you don't talk back to your boss. She practically talks to my mum back facing her. That is like absolutely disrespectful and rude. I don't appreciate her ethics at all. I can't help wondering how can a mother of 3 behave like that. Oh well here are a few things about my maid
1) She does facial !!!
2) She bought a handphone only to realise its dumb.
3) She sold her handphone.
4) She runs out of the house after lunch to eat. (she does the cooking, mind you)
5) A man called her !!!
6) A man appeared outside our house.
7) He scolded my mum =)
8) She told my dad that she doesn't respect my mum.
9) She told my aunt that she's actually here for a holiday ( shruggs)
Oh well..basically to me, she's very different from all my previous maid whom i like a lot. I doubt i'll miss her even though it sounds cold- blooded to say that but that's the truth. I don't miss her. I'm glad that she's going back because i know that's what she yearns to do so i hereby wish her all the best ~ Grow up Aunty Ruby =)
¶ 4:24 PM
1) She does facial !!!
2) She bought a handphone only to realise its dumb.
3) She sold her handphone.
4) She runs out of the house after lunch to eat. (she does the cooking, mind you)
5) A man called her !!!
6) A man appeared outside our house.
7) He scolded my mum =)
8) She told my dad that she doesn't respect my mum.
9) She told my aunt that she's actually here for a holiday ( shruggs)
Oh well..basically to me, she's very different from all my previous maid whom i like a lot. I doubt i'll miss her even though it sounds cold- blooded to say that but that's the truth. I don't miss her. I'm glad that she's going back because i know that's what she yearns to do so i hereby wish her all the best ~ Grow up Aunty Ruby =)
¶ 4:24 PM
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
All of a sudden it dawned upon me that maybe you don't appreciate the things that i did for you. It hurts to know that maybe you just delete everything that i wrote for you. It upsets me to think about it because i did it out of love and concern, hoping it can cheer you up and hopefully let you see another perspective to the whole situation but oh well if you just chuck it to one side, i can't do anything. *utterly disappointed* And if you think that you are the one, its okay i don't need an answer from you.You don't have to explain a single thing because i doubt it will help. i just hope that you are happy =)
-I'm not looking for anything in return when i did all these things for you, but to know that you can blatently "throw away" the things i gave you, upsets me more than you will ever know-
ps ( all i need is a good night sleep, i'm fine *wink*)
¶ 7:47 PM
-I'm not looking for anything in return when i did all these things for you, but to know that you can blatently "throw away" the things i gave you, upsets me more than you will ever know-
ps ( all i need is a good night sleep, i'm fine *wink*)
¶ 7:47 PM
Okay peeps just in case you guys are interested to know about my horrendous prelims results, here goes..i got 19 for my prelims..=x its horrible i know..and it was after much moderation, trust me lots and lots of moderation ! can't really comment much on the results because as usual i could have done much more to pull the marks up and chemistry was so disappointing..i was aiming for a A1 and then it ended as a c5. oh well, chem is always upsetting me, starting to become oblivious to it. Lit was a major upset..i got 33/50 =( b3..There goes my A1 because i didn't support my points well, too much speculation hence for O's no more speculation (*.*) ! I decided to think about my first 3 months after my O's, concentrate on doing well first. Such hassles !!! It gives me headaches. Recently i'm experiencing migraine more and more often and they are getting more intense each time. *ouch* didn't have that problem at all previously. Maybe there's a tumour in my brain..*ponders* haha crazy girl ~ oh well, that's no excuse not to study. Anyway back to my point, prelims basically was badly done but i know i can do better than this !!! *self motivated =p* fret not ! With the Lord as my shepherd, I know He will be my guide. Praise the Lord !
¶ 2:29 AM
¶ 2:29 AM
Specially for Jie Si..
Reflections from a lonely soul
I watched on as she threaded along her lonesome path
Every step dreadful, heavy and long,
Every moment hesitatant, slow and obscure,
And more than oft,
My eyes revolves around her steps,
Her nonchalant looks.
They never cease to peep at her,
For I am bewildered by a forlorn soul,
Who's without a confident, a friend to call her own.
I'll meet her at the library, settles for the table beside
I'll stand beside her in the canteen, to keep her view in sight.
Chancing upon her every single day, only leads me to ponder and pity with a saddened face.
Empathy overwhelms the heart of mine to know
She's alone, with only her shadow that's obliged to follow near her side.
Portraying a symbol of loneliness, I reckon it must have hurt.
But why she persists, forsaking friendship, few will ever know.
Maybe, perhaps, unknown to both you and me,
Love did surround her blissful life, with friends to share her agony.
Would she have continued?
Would she have dwelled?
If she saw the beauty in this thing called "friendship" that many embraced to keep in their arms.
Friends, beyond definition are what I have found.
"Count your blessing" the old cliched adage broach
Beckoning us to treasure,
And etch this message close to our heart.
Reminiscing over the laughters, a smile spread across my face,
And oh lacerated feelings were bound to come
When problems and harsh words cruelly sound.
Reflections are precious, leading me to see
Friendship goes both ways,
With constant "give and take",
Nothing is absolute need I say?
A forgiving heart towards many,
A loving arm to the rest,
My dear friend, you’re the reason
I pen this, to remind me you exist.
Message for you:
Hey Jiesi, as you know this poem is for you..only you. Heard about the problems you are going through, have been wanting to tell you the meaning behind the poem but i never had the chance to, so if you read my blog, here goes: JieSi i guess in life, we will face many problems especially with people. As you know, everyone has their own thoughts, their own way of thinking, resulting in clashes. Friends are very special people, because we are the ones who choose to befriend them unlike the relationship we have with our parents or siblings. which is God's will. Problems will bound to come our way, and they will hurt us most definitely but if we think about it, these problems can be overcome if we are determined to hold on to the friendship. Think about people who didn't even have to chance to befriend others because they were ostracized by the people around them. That's how this poem came about. A girl who was ostracized by the people around her. She doesn't even have friends to begin speaking with. Hope you will treasure your friends (i know you do, dear brother) and just turn to the Lord for guidance and wisdom to handle the problems okay *wink* Don't feel that you are not loved because there are many people who loves you..i'm one !! *wave wave* Take care dear bro...
Ps( it was great to see you on saturday again =) -smile- )
¶ 12:59 AM
Reflections from a lonely soul
I watched on as she threaded along her lonesome path
Every step dreadful, heavy and long,
Every moment hesitatant, slow and obscure,
And more than oft,
My eyes revolves around her steps,
Her nonchalant looks.
They never cease to peep at her,
For I am bewildered by a forlorn soul,
Who's without a confident, a friend to call her own.
I'll meet her at the library, settles for the table beside
I'll stand beside her in the canteen, to keep her view in sight.
Chancing upon her every single day, only leads me to ponder and pity with a saddened face.
Empathy overwhelms the heart of mine to know
She's alone, with only her shadow that's obliged to follow near her side.
Portraying a symbol of loneliness, I reckon it must have hurt.
But why she persists, forsaking friendship, few will ever know.
Maybe, perhaps, unknown to both you and me,
Love did surround her blissful life, with friends to share her agony.
Would she have continued?
Would she have dwelled?
If she saw the beauty in this thing called "friendship" that many embraced to keep in their arms.
Friends, beyond definition are what I have found.
"Count your blessing" the old cliched adage broach
Beckoning us to treasure,
And etch this message close to our heart.
Reminiscing over the laughters, a smile spread across my face,
And oh lacerated feelings were bound to come
When problems and harsh words cruelly sound.
Reflections are precious, leading me to see
Friendship goes both ways,
With constant "give and take",
Nothing is absolute need I say?
A forgiving heart towards many,
A loving arm to the rest,
My dear friend, you’re the reason
I pen this, to remind me you exist.
Message for you:
Hey Jiesi, as you know this poem is for you..only you. Heard about the problems you are going through, have been wanting to tell you the meaning behind the poem but i never had the chance to, so if you read my blog, here goes: JieSi i guess in life, we will face many problems especially with people. As you know, everyone has their own thoughts, their own way of thinking, resulting in clashes. Friends are very special people, because we are the ones who choose to befriend them unlike the relationship we have with our parents or siblings. which is God's will. Problems will bound to come our way, and they will hurt us most definitely but if we think about it, these problems can be overcome if we are determined to hold on to the friendship. Think about people who didn't even have to chance to befriend others because they were ostracized by the people around them. That's how this poem came about. A girl who was ostracized by the people around her. She doesn't even have friends to begin speaking with. Hope you will treasure your friends (i know you do, dear brother) and just turn to the Lord for guidance and wisdom to handle the problems okay *wink* Don't feel that you are not loved because there are many people who loves you..i'm one !! *wave wave* Take care dear bro...
Ps( it was great to see you on saturday again =) -smile- )
¶ 12:59 AM
Monday, October 25, 2004
A poem for you
To the boy whom stole my heart, only to break it
Dear you, the boy who captured my heart.
Choosing not to keep it, hence i have to part.
Carelessly, you dropped it on the cold concrete ground.
Cruelly, you made me fall deeply in the cold winter town.
To realise, your heart was never mine,
Its her you love, the beautiful kind.
Auguish gripped me hard,
hurting my fragile heart.
Sorrow filled my eyes,
wishing these were all lies.
All hallucination, nothing more.
My love, i'm sorry D'amore.
Your loving eyes, most misleading.
Your sincere smile, totally captivating
Unfair ! For a broken heart barely healed
Yet you opened it up to you in due.
Reality striked me
shunning,
facing.
Didn't have a choice, much less a poise
I wished you loved me, all wishful thinking.
For now i know better,
you were ignoring,
ignoring me.. all along
¶ 9:39 AM
Dear you, the boy who captured my heart.
Choosing not to keep it, hence i have to part.
Carelessly, you dropped it on the cold concrete ground.
Cruelly, you made me fall deeply in the cold winter town.
To realise, your heart was never mine,
Its her you love, the beautiful kind.
Auguish gripped me hard,
hurting my fragile heart.
Sorrow filled my eyes,
wishing these were all lies.
All hallucination, nothing more.
My love, i'm sorry D'amore.
Your loving eyes, most misleading.
Your sincere smile, totally captivating
Unfair ! For a broken heart barely healed
Yet you opened it up to you in due.
Reality striked me
shunning,
facing.
Didn't have a choice, much less a poise
I wished you loved me, all wishful thinking.
For now i know better,
you were ignoring,
ignoring me.. all along
¶ 9:39 AM
A little reflection
Okay it has been raining cats and dogs for like the past 3 ? 4 ? days. It dampens a person's mood and looking at the rain, i feel sloppy. The O's haven't even started !! *horrors* My first paper would be on 1 nov which is 6 days away. I repeat 6 days away ! *looks around* the environment feels the same, everything seems still. My world is calm and serene. i'm taking things at my stride which is bad, real bad. Imagine everything at a standstill..*ponders* Oh well, life at a standstill can be really boring so better not. i don't want to live regretting when i get back my O level results next feb. i will live in auguish if that happens. Conclusion: people, let's give it our best and live without any regrets after O's..!
¶ 9:25 AM
¶ 9:25 AM
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
I dread school !! i wake up every morning with this split headache and feeling all sore. My first thoughts are " i don't want to go to school, can i ?" this is followed by " oh Lord Jesus !" The Lord is my strength and my comfort as satan beckons me to follow him. i feel violently sick.. like i could puke any moment. Every felt like the self destruct button is waiting for you. i'm feeling it now..but i will not give in..sadness is my motivation to hang on.
¶ 7:06 PM
¶ 7:06 PM
