An episode at Changi Granny felt terrible yesterday and we sent her to the hospital at midnight. Actually yea it was only my dad and me who accompanied her to A&E. Well it was a very unnerving experience for me. Firstly i was so worried that something serious happened to her as Granny has always been weak. She had a heart bypass before and recently her health condition has deteriorated so i was worried that something might happen to her. Fortunately Praise the Lord, it was just a case of constipation. They induced this liquid to make her remove all her bowels. You can actually see the waste matter accumulated in her through a X-ray- Example of Modern technology.

Well we reached Changi Hospital at around 1230am. At this moment i want you guys to try to guess the time i leave Changi. *Answer will be revealed at the end of the entry* Did the normal procedure and waited for the doctor to attend to Granny. She had to go for X ray after consultation, she was kept in this room to make sure her waste matter would be released and then finally back to the doctor for medication before we were allowed to leave. There was a lot of waiting time, mind you. Even though it was just three simple procedures. I had the time to watch half of Matrix Reloaded on HBO. However i'm really glad that granny is fine and didn't have to be warded. She doesn't like it in the hospital. When i told her that we were finally allowed to go home, she literally jumped up from the bed with a sparkle in her eyes. Home sweet home yea. =)

The trip to Changi Hospital opened my eyes to many things. I remember the time when i sprained my ankle, i had to go to Changi too for consultation and had to go for a X ray too. The X ray room is just next to the operating theatre. On that very day, while i was waiting to enter into the X ray room, someone died in the operating theatre and i heard the cries for the loss of a loved one. It was heartbreaking and it shatters the soul. However this time round, i saw 3 criminal case being handled by the police in the hospital. They look just like you and me. This world is really cruel. The criminals were being handcuffed and leg cuffed and everyone had their eyes fixed on them. Its sad that even when they need medical treatment, they still have to endure the shame and humiliation. Anyway there was this girl, she looks really young. She was in handcuffs and screaming and screaming. We could hear her even after we moved to another area, away from the X ray room. She was so loud, her cries were those of a desperate man. I wonder what happened. This was on going for almost 2 hours. It made me really curious what happened to her.

What made them commit the crime ? Would they do it again if given a second chance ? I'm starting to have second thoughts about being a criminal lawyer.

Oh yea and while i was waiting for my granny to release her bowels in this room, there was this guy who was sleeping face down. He was fidgeting and crying in pain. He seem to be in a great deal of pain i wonder what happened.He even threatened to change to another hospital if the doctor wasn't going to attend to him. That is the main issue !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Changi only has one or two doctor on duty when there's like so many patients even though it was really late !!!!!!!! I went home and asked my mum and she told me that this is the case for most of the hospitals. Like oh my gosh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it !!!! How are 2 doctors going to attend to all the patients ??? They might be in pain and suffering and you leave them to suffer for a few more hours before attending to their needs !!!!!!!! *stares in disbelief* There was this guy who was viomiting really violently too, could hear him viomitting from a distance. =xXxXx so yea this will not work.

I reached home at 3.53 am yesterday !!!!!!!!!!! You do the maths and tell me how long it took !!!!!!!!! &%$&%^&

*faints* Please remind me to go to bed and forget about my pain when its in the middle of the night. I'll probably feel better the next morning rather than wait for almost 3 whole hours just to see a doctor. (-___________________-")


What can i do? With you around, i can't hide my feelings.
What can i do when you're everywhere..just like that packet of instant noodle :((
What can i do? Put up with this facade or come clean with my feelings.
I love you- Does this coincidence exist that you actually love me too?   ¶ 10:13 PM

  Pretty random Badminton training made me realise something yesterday- Sprinting can be really fun :))
I used to like long distance but now i guess sprinting is a whole new experience. I like the feeling of stretching my legs wide apart, taking large strides. Well my strides aren't exactly very long cause i have really short legs =x but yea i think it can be trained. Khai who has a small built too can run both long and short distance really well. Envy ~ He rocks ! =) Can't wait for the last badminton practice and do the sprints again. Running isn't such a taunting exercise afterall *beams*

Praise the Lord that everything is well at home. Daddy is really happy today, apprarently everything went well for him in his work place. His work place is currently undergoing a series of restructuring and he has been really unnerved by the whole experience. Finally things are settling down and from his tone i can tell how glad and relieved he is. Hallelujah, the Lord is faithful. Lord Jesus, thank you for all the blessings you have showered on my family.

And tomorrow is friday again ! That means that the weekends are here again. Time really flies when you are preoccupied with the nitty gritty stuff in life. Week after week just goes pass.. with me still as empty as when i started. (>_<") I really got to come up with my resolution !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But oh well, this week in school has been pretty fine except for an episode with my lit teacher that i shall not elaborate. Unhappy things are meant to be forgotten :)) hidden at the back of our memory, only to be reflected on once in a while so that we won't repeat the same mistakes.

This entry is so random~ and so i shall end it randomly.
I'm tired. Good night :))

My resolution- never to talk about you.  ¶ 10:48 PM

  Jealous ! Green Eye monster =Ng Jingfang
Unforgiving=Ng Jingfang
Unreasonable=Ng Jingfang
Deluded=Ng Jingfang
Unrealistic=Ng Jingfang
Noisy=Ng Jingfang
Loud=Ng Jingfang
Attention Seeker=Ng Jingfang

I swear i'm mad ! I swear i think too much ! I swear i'm never going to talk about you !

-End-

You managed to reverse the whole situation and take away everything you given me. I never thought that would happen.  ¶ 10:39 PM

  My confession I confess !!!!!!!!! I'm a lazy bum =XxxX *guilty*
I confess !!!!!!!!! I go to bed at around 10pm daily.
I confess !!!!!!!!! Many of you can't do that and feel like whacking me now.
I confess !!!!!!!!! I got to bed at 10pm when i haven't finished my work.
I confess !!!!!!!!! I don't exactly panic when i got to bed at 10pm with the knowledge that i have work undone.
I confess !!!!!!!!! My room is in a mess when i got to bed at 10pm.
I confess !!!!!!!!! 10pm is too early for bed time. =XxX
I confess !!!!!!!!! Sometimes when i got to bed at 10 pm, i wasn't even sleepy. I just miss my bed. *hugs my bolster*
I confess !!!!!!!!! I'm lagging behind in my Ao maths tutorial.
I confess !!!!!!!!! I'm exploiting my Ao maths teacher who is ever so patient.
I confess !!!!!!!!! I have lots of project to do but i cannot be bothered *gasps*
I confess !!!!!!!!! I think about playing maple more than my homework.
I confess !!!!!!!!! The thought of him makes me sleepy. =xXx
I confess !!!!!!!!! I'm a lazy bum..

My confession. I need to do something about my life. Haven't been doing my work at all. It started since last week. I'm lagging behind for maths and promos are just around the corner. Got to at least pass ao maths to ensure that i can get promoted, and passing ao maths to me is not supposed to be a problem. It has been nearly 3 years of a maths in my life. =xXx. Oh well, and i have projects for all my subjects. Yes you got that right, Gp , Hist, Econs and Lit.

Econs was due today. Lit and Hist are due tomorrow. I skipped PE with a bunch of friends to complete the econs presentation today. Like gosh, fancy me skipping PE. Hahas i skipped a lesson today !!!! Whee ~ been such a long time since i done that ever since the first three months. Got to work on my history project after this entry. Its on socialism !!!! Sound so foreign to me. Mamamia~ However even though i can barely breathe because of the workload, I have to say i love my subject combination. Its so fun~ and all the things i learn are some how related to one another especially Gp, lit and hist. =) Makes things a lot easier to comprehend.

And..I want to be a nerd just like him!!!! I saw Chilli banana in the canteen today. He was reading the newspaper with his friend i think. Then when i walked pass him later, he was reading this storybook. Hahas super mugger. =) I want to be a super mugger too ~ No offence zhuang. Hahas yep Chilli banana is such a good role model. *swoons* Hardworking people are very charming.

Kel bought me this Mr tofu keychain and mr bean bear !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps around* Kel rocks.

Oh and i skipped badminton today =xXx. Many of the badminton girls skipped today's training because of tomorrow's physics test. *guilty* I was all prepared to go for training, brought my shoes and racket but when i found out many of them were not going, i wavered too and Oolala..:)) You know the ending. Wonder who went today? Hope coach will torture the guys today muahahahahas. Coach puts all his attention on the girls, its time to train the boys man.

I've been a bad girl. I know but i'm enjoying it so yea =) Till the day i receive enlightenment..bed time is still 10pm. Oh nono..there's incredible tales today. So bed time is 11 pm?? :))

Don't hate me because i get to go to bed early =x. *wink*

What would it be like to swing on a star, or walk on a cloud? Would it be anything like what I feel whenever you are near?  ¶ 7:37 PM

  My faith- restored. Did the Demand, supply and elasticity econs revision project today. It almost killed Xinyi, Chun, Darling and me but waaaaaaaaaalaaaaaaaaa we managed to finish it. (though a little slipshot). Yea !!!! Victory~

Chun was so sweet. =) She bought Mac Donald's Breakfast for us. What a great way to start your day right. Thanks Chun.

oh and Zhuang, i'm so sorry that i couldn't pass you the lock. So so so so so so so so sorry. Seriously i think you are not fated to have the lock hahas.

Xinyi, more fondly known as Ah yi and Un-demure ( sniggers) bullied me today. Can you believe it !!!! She didn't want to tell me a certain something and i kept pestering her to tell me while we were waiting for bus 29. Then i saw the rubbish collector truck ( Alvater) and i said "Ah yi, if you don't tell me who, i'll jump onto the Alvater and leave !" and she simply said " Go ahead." Ah yi, you're such a big bully !!!!!! =pPpP Whines. I'll will keep pestering you until you tell me. Hmpfs. Tell me tell me tell me. *Chants* Oh well at least we had a good laugh after that =x. tsk tsk. Right? Ah yi..*wink*

And yea Praise the Lord for guiding me today. I was suppose to usher today for the youth meeting today and i had to complete the econs project before that. I was so worried that i would be late but yea my Lord is merciful and preserved me. I left my house with xinyi, chun and darling at about 2.45pm and by the time we reached tampines mrt station it was 3.11pm. Usually when i reach the mrt station at this time, i would be like late for meetings. I would arrive in church at approximately 4.10pm. I was feeling so exasperated when En called me to remind me that i would be late *cries* but Praise the Lord, I reached 5 minutes before meeting starts. :)) This is my Lord, my true and living God. Even En said i was fast today =)

This reminds me of a portion of a hymn.

Trust in the Lord and do not be discouraged.
Trust in the Lord and stop this feeling blue.
Trust in the Lord and you will be encouraged,
for Jesus cares for you.

Yep Amen, Jesus listens to prayer.

Church was really refreshing today. We shared on the character of David and it was very enlightening. It show me that as christians, we are actually engaging in a spiritual warfare each day just like David who engaged in physical warfare even after the Lord gave him rest. Similarly, the Lord gives us peace and rest each day but still Satan will come and tempt us to despair and cause us to sin thus each day we are in a warfare with the evil one.

I want to be a overcomer and victor in this warfare :)) and i know with the Lord, I will be one. Hallelujah~ I have backslided and this message is very timely. Praise the Lord that He knows my condition and is always there when i need him. Agape. I'm so glad i have Jesus now and forever.

That's all for today..Mama made pizza =) Yummy-licious..

When will i see you again?  ¶ 9:10 PM

  A not so typical day Did i ever told you that i love the badminton girls ? :)) They are such fun people to be around~ muahahas we go totally mad ~ *swirls around* I had so much fun with them yesteday.

Okay yep yesterday, i spent 2 solid hours in the library doing my literature assignment on Silas marner. I tell you literature is getting so beyond me. I'm beginning to lose my interest in it =(. Practical Criticism class is the hardest to bear follwed by Gothic :(( I wonder if its the subject or the teacher? Shall not jump to a conclusion but yea i'm starting to lose touch with literature.I love literature, love it ever since i went for my first literature lesson in secondary one with Mr Kc Tan. However ever since i stepped into Tpjc, my whole idea of Literature has been forcibly changed. Its so different from my secondary school style. Muahahahas come to think of it, its quite funny. =xXx It simply means no more narration on my part when i do my literature assignment. Anyway oh well, the question that was posed to us was pretty tough. It was something about the Raveloe villages in Silas Marner and we are supposed to write a critical analysis of it from this extract. Sounds easy ??? But the catch is, the whole extract given to us focused only on the upper class of Raveloe (-_-"). Oh well, i managed to hand in an essay eventually after i cried my tears out in the library. ( actually that happened because of my contact lens =x) but yea. I cried for literature..boohoohoo.

Went for badminton open after that and i got to umpire today =). Thanks June *muacks* Thanks for letting me umpire. I was quite bored of being a lines guard/man. Umpiring a game (especially one that involves the teachers) is pretty nerve wrecking. (Badminton open and staff open was going on simultaneously.) Hahas especially PE teachers !!!! Hahas because they know the game inside out, like Mr Chew. I have to be so meticulous and be really alert. You never know what might happen. Hahas umpired like 3 matches yesterday, all for staff open. By the time i was umpiring the last match ( female doubles) I was so distracted and tired (x_x"). Made really silly mistakes and unfortunately the teachers realised and corrected me. Hahas digs a hole and hide in it =x. And there was a very exciting match going on the next court- Arif's team vs Nicolas' team. Woah~ I tried to take a peak at that game while umpiring =xXx but yea wasn't exactly very successful.

Nicolas' team won =)!!!!!! Congrats man. And Cheryl did a fantastic job for the female singles. Really glad that she managed to win her oppenent. *claps claps* Oh yea while i was the lines man for the mix double match, Hendra came up to me and asked me for shuttles but i misinterpreted it as he wanted to be the lines man for that match and i stood up. (-_-") Oh man, so unglam and totally embarrassing !!!! I wanted to hide behind some pillar~ Oh man he gave me this weird look and said " no, shuttle !" Hahas man ~ i almost died !!!!! then yea he returned the tube of shuttle to me and smiled. *faints* (X_x") Unbelievable !!!!! Jingfang!! How dumb can you get ???

Oh well after everything ended, i went out with Shuling, Liyi and Mich~ :)) We did lots of silly things..

1) Liyi and me taunted Mich and Shuling by singing this song =x Right ??? *hums* Shuling..Shuling..Shuling..Xinyi..Xinyi..Xinyi =PpPpPp

2) We went to the waffleshop and 4 of us had the same drink.Soursop ice blended with the overnight pearls. *horrors* and shuling had chocolate waffle.

3) We walked to this park and started to use the equipments there, experimenting all sorts of different ways to use them.
-Shuling and her Taiji machine
-Mich and her dislocating knee machine..eWwW sounds scary right
- Liyi and the arm machine ( where she jumped up and down like some monkey )
- Me and Mich went on this machine (where your legs can go up and down while your arms
move forward) and almost had a heart attack). *screams*

4) Then we tried the footpath with stones. One word- OUCH !!!!!!! and Liyi wanted to try skipping on it. Go ahead Liyi, i'll support you morally. never physically =xXx.

5) We went to eat carrot cake and fried noodles. Mich has this way to scare the uncle muahahahas..*softly and almost in an inaudible voice" uncle can we have..*shouts very loudly" CARROT CAKE !!!!!!!! Now you know why the uncle will get a heart attack. Muahahas Mich, can't stand you =pPPp

6) Then we played lots of games. yea mind-boggling games.

That's why i love the badminton girls. They are so much fun. Hugs and i hope no matter what, this friendship we share will never change :))

Hai messaged me yesterday and told me he was with Chilli Banana at a bbq. Its nice to know what chilli banana does once in a while. He wore his specs yesterday :)). He looks really intellectual when he wears his spectacles. I like him because he is such a little boy at heart despite his tall built. I like him because he still likes to fool around with his friend and doesn't care what others think about him. I like him because he is such a loyal friend. I like him because he is always with his friends and not surrounded by girls. I like his smile. I like the fact that his studies mean a lot to him. I like him because he has such a different perspective of life though it might not be good. =xXx I like him because he's vain. I like him for everything he is.

And i miss him because the weekend is here.

Our paths crossed yesterday and i realised that actually it has crossed for several months but i didn't realise it until i paid special notice to my environment.

I think you are truly special :))  ¶ 8:31 PM

  Pms ? Been on a highly irritable mood recently.I'm so sorry if i offended anyone ya =xXx I don't know what's wrong but my tolerance has gone down to nearly ZERO !!!!!!!! This is bad and extremely frustrating. Everything seems wrong, everything else that other people do are horrible and wrong. This feeling is so overwhelming that sometimes i feel like giving them a tight slap ! I mean it. It is so serious and so irritated that i feel like being alone sometimes. I can't deny that every single time i feel like that, i 'll feel the guilt in me condemning all my awful thoughts.

I hope no one can read my mind, they will be in for a shock.

What should i do ? I want to be alone but yet i don't want to be alone ! I'm being so paranoid. My mood swings are too sudden but does anyone know that i'm experiencing them? I believe they think i'm joking whenever i snap at them. Maybe its better that they think i'm simply fooling around like i normally would. Geesh..

I feel so guilty =( I don't like to snap at anyone or curse them secretly in my head. Its so hypocrital but it just happens before i can even object. The thoughts are just in my head. "She sucks !", " How dumb can she get asking such questions", "whatever, i can't be bothered to argue with you~". These are such some thoughts that go through my mind recently. I know its really mean. That's why i keep such thoughts all to myself. I know my limits, or do i ?

Anyway i realise we don't talk anymore. You were suppose to be special but i guess the word "special" is now devoid of meaning yea. You used to sms me everyday and we'll talk about almost anything but now..its no longer the same. I don't know when we stopped messaging each other. It just happened, right? If only you were truly special, the special you, you promised me. I guess you broke your promise. If that's the case, next time don't even let it start. Don't give me hope only to dash it.You don't like disappointment, its the same for me. I'm human, i have feelings too.

You changed..beyond my recognition.
And i have to see you leave.

On a lighter note..
Badminton Training was super duper fun yesterday ~ Coach actually brought food for us :)). Bet he's guilty after the monsterous training on monday. Most of us were aching all over from monday's training. We had physical training on monday and yea lots of footwork and running. That's why the badminton girls were all half dead yesterday. Muahahahas =x but it was fun and i believe that it will help us to improve. Hahas oh yea and we did half squats too. At first it was for 3 minutes, then 5, then 8 and finally 10 ! (-_-") my legs were trembling and shaking like i was going to experience spasm the next moment. Wobble wobble wobble away like a jelly~. Bev was very sweet to me during the squats :)). Thanks for your encouraging words Bev. -Hugs-

Oh and they gave me my belated birthday present yesterday. It was so sweet ~ It was a notebook with messages from each and every single one for them *smiles*. They bought the notebook from happy house and its bright yellow and pink with a cartoon pig on the cover. Hee thanks guys~ I read through the messages and i'm really touched. You sugery bunch of little things =pPPp..We have another year together and i hope we will get to know one another better yea. Let's keep the whole team together. Love the crazy times together.

Oh yea and people, there are some things that i didn't tell you guys=x
1) I pierced my ear again. This time on top where the cartilage( soft bone) is =xXx
2) I cut my hair. I have short hair now. =xXx

Double oOps yea. will post a picture of my new hairstyle really soon~ Don't get a heart attack when you guys see it yea.

Oh and yea I'm so obessessed with Chilli banana. My emotions fluctuate according to him. Obessessed, obessed, obessed. There's this part of me that wants to know him and another that doesn't. But for me its good enough that he remains a stranger. At least i know that no matter what happens, i smile whenever i see him. Secret bliss. And yes, i know its going overboard people so hahas i won't rattle on and on about him =xXx though i can't promise but i'll try. I like him so much *beams* He's the reason why i look forward to school.

Oh yea i had this really sweet yet unexpected dream yesterday about X. Well yea it was really really very sweet. It kept me smiling when i woke up and i remember the dream so vividly. i don't know why =xXx I was so surprised that i dreamt of him but it was a lovely dream. :)) Well, the dream goes something like that. I was reading his blog and in his latest entry, it was about this girl that he adores and all the good qualities about her. And yea, i realise in the end that he was talking about me. ( i know its super thick skin muahahas) but still i had this tingling sensation hahas. =xXxXx i know i'm hopeless~ oh and the thing is in his blog ( in real life) he was talking about how he wants his first girlfriend to be his wife. =) sweet right. but yea the dream was totally unexpected. Crazy me~

See how my emotion changes these days. Shake head. I'm going nuts soon~
Oh yea and there is this movie called " March of the penguins" that is coming out soon. I want to watch it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to watch it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *hint hint*

I'm glad that whenever i'm down, the thought of you comforts me. You're so much more..so much more than a friend.  ¶ 4:28 PM

  Sometimes i just don't like myself. Sometimes i just don't like myself. I'm flawed, filled with imperfections. I'm a sinner. No one really knows the real me other than God. I don't even know myself. I want to change my life, i don't like this life i'm leading. So many vice, so little time to change. Flawed...scorned !

I want to change..i need change to change me.   ¶ 3:31 PM

  Just a note. Well looks like a virus is spreading and yea everyone around me is falling ill..so yea people, take good care of yourself and drink more water kays :)) Got to get enough rest and try to sleep early. Try to eat more fruits especially guave and orange. Yummy-licious ! Try to stay away from watermelon yea, they are almost extinct. Protect the watermelons. Exercise is vital so yea try to do some workout and sweat it out and always stay happy and positive. Laughing daily will improve your immune system =) so go hahahahahahahahahahahahas.

Love aunt naggy =)

Alright then, after much nagging from aunt naggy, do heed her advice and take good care kays people.

So how's everyone??? *looks around*..I've been so so so so so so lazy recently. I mean it !!! I'm procrastinating *horrors* I'm not doing my work, i get to sleep before 10pm if i want to =xXXx There's like Gp comprehension, maths tutorial and lots of readings to do for literature and history but i just don't feel the urgency to start on my work. * Shakes head* this is bad..=( i need someone to motivate me. *hint hint* Anyway i'll be going to the Asian Civilisation Museum later =xXx and then vch for tpjc band concert. Muahahahas..its going to be an interesting night ahead. *Beams* but it also means that i'll probably reach home at 11pm or something and go to bed right after my bath (ps i do bathe =xXx). That means no homework will be done. *panic* this will not do..yadayadayada. =(

And yea Praise the Lord that my grandma has decided to believe in the Lord and she's going to get baptised this saturday =). Lord, i'll will praise your name forever and ever. The Lord is so real to me and the things He does for me tells me that my God is a true living God. Amen! Lord Jesus, so i pray that each day i'll be a good testimony for you and may my ways be pleasing in your sight =).

Oh yea and yea Korkor is being so mean to me *hmpfs..

This is what he said.

Me:" Korkor..can you send me "You're beautiful "?? Love that song.
Korkor:" Okay, wait till you're beautiful then i'll send it to you"
Korkor:"laughs aways..muahahahahas"
Me: "Oei !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Me: Oh my gosh, kor what's that song. its so nice !!!! send me, send me
Korkor:Its when septemeber comes
Me: Send me send me
Korkor: okay, i'll send it to you when september comes.
Korkor: giggles
Me: hmpfs !!!!

Yea that's my elder brother who can't grow up. Just like me =) that's why we are sibling.

Well that's all for now..will update really soon :)) Till then..  ¶ 10:17 AM

  Sad Been really busy with Badminton open recently and yea my team made it into the quarter finals but it ended for us today =( so sad !!!!! We lost 3-2. It was so close~ Sigh rather disappointed. Felt like crying but i couldn't. Everyone was being so nice to me and asking me if i'm alright. Felt so weak at that moment. Its the kind of feeling where i felt so small.

Anyway to my team members. It has been fun training with you guys. Really sad that we couldn't make it into the semi finals. So sorry. Yi Xiang, so sorry =( !!!!

Thanks to the rest for comforting me :)). Badminton rocks ~ You guys are always there for me.

I caught a flu *sniff sniff* Go away mr flu..go away.

(X_x") I'll blog more often, i promise =pPpPpP  ¶ 8:24 PM

  Back~ Hey people~ after a long hiatus ..i'm finally back with a new blogskin ! :))
Its so adorable right. Penguins shall rule the world !!!!! I sound so high =xXxXx
And yea i lost all my links :(( so yea people..tag me and leave your webbie add with me yea
Thanks~ =D


  ¶ 8:22 PM