The stars are far away
Sunday, September 26, 2004
Definition of forgiveness: The perfume a flower leaves on the shoe that crushed it. -annoymous-
¶ 4:40 PM
¶ 4:40 PM
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
These Words
Natasha Bedingfield
Threw some chords together
The combination D-E-FIs
who I am, is what I do
No one's gonna let it down for you
Try to focus my attention
But I feel so A-D-D
I need some help, some inspiration
(But it's not coming easily)
Whoah oh...
Trying to find the magic
Trying to write a classic
Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know?
Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes, see you later
These words are my own
From my heart flown
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better sayI love you, i love you...
Written by Ricelli and KeysResided
in over a heartbeat
I'm having trouble saying what I mean
With dead poets and drum machines
I know I had some studio time, but
But I couldn't find a killer hook
Now you're gonna raise the bar right up
Nothing I write is ever good enough
These words are my own
From my heart flown
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say I love you, I love you…
I'm getting off my stage
The curtains pull away
No hyper bowl to hide behind
I'm naked, so exposed
whooh. oh.. oh.. oh.. Whoah.. oh..
Trying to find the magic
Trying to write a classic
Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes,see you later
These words are my own
From my heart flown
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say i love you..i love you, is that okay ?
A question many of us would like to ask, and i think this song tells it all.. "i love you, is that okay ?"
¶ 4:46 PM
Natasha Bedingfield
Threw some chords together
The combination D-E-FIs
who I am, is what I do
No one's gonna let it down for you
Try to focus my attention
But I feel so A-D-D
I need some help, some inspiration
(But it's not coming easily)
Whoah oh...
Trying to find the magic
Trying to write a classic
Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know?
Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes, see you later
These words are my own
From my heart flown
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better sayI love you, i love you...
Written by Ricelli and KeysResided
in over a heartbeat
I'm having trouble saying what I mean
With dead poets and drum machines
I know I had some studio time, but
But I couldn't find a killer hook
Now you're gonna raise the bar right up
Nothing I write is ever good enough
These words are my own
From my heart flown
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say I love you, I love you…
I'm getting off my stage
The curtains pull away
No hyper bowl to hide behind
I'm naked, so exposed
whooh. oh.. oh.. oh.. Whoah.. oh..
Trying to find the magic
Trying to write a classic
Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes,see you later
These words are my own
From my heart flown
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say i love you..i love you, is that okay ?
A question many of us would like to ask, and i think this song tells it all.. "i love you, is that okay ?"
¶ 4:46 PM
After much anticipation and anxiety, i finally got my phone ! Its the samsung E700A and nope, just in case you thought i bought the red one, i bought the silver one. The entire process of getting my phone was so melodramatic that i thought i would just scumble to notion of settling for a life without a phone. Its like a phychological game, totally nervewrecking !
Here goes:
19 September 2004, sunday, after my church service, i was feeling all cited up to get my new phone as i sat in my dad's honda ! True enough, he took an alternative route home. Instead of going straight, he took a u-turn to go towards the road leading to tampines mall (sniggers), i was trying to keep a straight face as i vividly imagine the moment when i step into the starhub centre. However it was my disillusion that he was going to get me my phone at that moment. My dad was more concerned about purchasing shuttlecocks for the game of badminton later on. So eventually we went to a sport shop instead.( They don't even sell Ronald Susilo's poster for crying out loud ) Can you imagine my dissatisfaction and the saturnine expression on my face as silence filled the car. However i tried to comfort myself by assuring myself that my family would be going out later and coincidentally we will pass by tampines mall once again =)
4.45pm, just as we were about the leave the house, i dropped my dad big hint that we were going to pass by tampines mall later and he got it.*whistles* i was beaming from side to side as i got ready for my game of badminton.
7.00pm Game over. Time to proceed home, or should i say time to proceed to purchase my phone. I could barely wait for another minute ( I'm nuts !!) However, my dad announced that we were proceeding home, leaving me in a state of bewilderness. How could he do this to me !!! We unequivocally agreed to purchase my phone after the game =(, didn't we. Or was it just me ? You should have seen the immediate change on my face. i was already tanned by nature, now it has been elevated to another level. The melancholy news left me feeling sore and sullen. I could feel my arterioles dilate as my face became flustered. Miraculously, the constant taunting remarks from my brother like " oh papa, fang's angry causing you won't get her the phone. Look she's not smiling, not smiling at all" proved to be too much for my dad to take and he finally suggested going to purchase my phone after we refresh ourselves * hip hip hurray * I was exhilarated, and the immediate response to that was to bite my elder brother ! He bit me back twice as hard, resulting in a bruise the size of his mouth (-_-") on my right arm. But i was rejoicing deep within, i didn't care if the bruise hurt and the 47 muscles that i used to frown were spared from being tortured further.
ps( thanks kor..love you !!! )
8.oopm In the shop, my dad queued to get the queue number. I'm always clueless when i enter starhub centre and most of the time i'll just be lost in the throng of crowd. ( No one told me i had to get a queue number right ? ) and when we enquired about E600c which i intended to get, the person at the counter told us that it was out of stock ! Out of stock, its out of stock !!! Of all days !!!! I was starting to believe that i am destined to own a phone. I almost broke down into tears ( drama mama ), i was pratically pulling my hair with such force i think i might need to visit Yunan ( hair loss centre ). I waited for a whole 3 weeks for the red E700A to be imported to singapore and when i finally decided to forgo it, E600c is out of stock. So what do you want me to do now, get a 3310 ? *pouts* i can barely imagine the predicament i'm in.
8.30 After looking desperately around starhub centre, walking in and out for at least 10 times in 5 minutes. I agreed to the nokia 6230, even though i was feeling very doubtful due to the exhorbit price. Everything was unreal to me at that moment. Then just as i was about to approach the counter, my dad spots this dainty and pulchritudinous lady promoting samsung phones. Dangling on the strap of her neck was the E600c and E700A,( talk about stabbing me ). After much contemplating, i decided that the silver E700A would suit me and the rest is HISTORY !!! history i say..history.
Oh how can i leave the sweet looking and cheerful panasonic promotor who almost made me buy the alluring X400. She was such a sweetheart , being amiable and smiling as she patiently introduce the phone to me. She even added " Feel free to appraoch me if you have any thing to ask me kay" even though i was being tenacious and rejected her over and over agian.
9.30pm We were so absorbed in getting the phone that we forgot all about dining out. By the time we returned to reality, we were all having hunger pangs and our stomach were growling ( oh behave yourself hydrochloric acid ). My elder brother had a craving for Japanese food so we went down to the basement but to our dismay, it was about to rest for the day. ( We are your customers how can you reject us ! ) Eventually we settled for Macdonald ( i'm loving it). My dad suggested it ! ( i think my dad is a kid at heart and has always wanted to eat Mac but declined as my mum is around =x) She was resting at home on that faithful day as you may have guessed. We had this engaging conversation on money matters that day after buying my phone which caused (suicide) bomb in my dad's pocket. It turned out rather hilarious as we ended up mocking at my mum instead ( such unfilial kids) !! We were commenting on her diamonds and disapproved her act on spending thousands on stones !!! hee but oh well diamonds are a girl's best friend *wink*
10.30pm Home sweet home with my E700A =)
¶ 2:19 PM
Here goes:
19 September 2004, sunday, after my church service, i was feeling all cited up to get my new phone as i sat in my dad's honda ! True enough, he took an alternative route home. Instead of going straight, he took a u-turn to go towards the road leading to tampines mall (sniggers), i was trying to keep a straight face as i vividly imagine the moment when i step into the starhub centre. However it was my disillusion that he was going to get me my phone at that moment. My dad was more concerned about purchasing shuttlecocks for the game of badminton later on. So eventually we went to a sport shop instead.( They don't even sell Ronald Susilo's poster for crying out loud ) Can you imagine my dissatisfaction and the saturnine expression on my face as silence filled the car. However i tried to comfort myself by assuring myself that my family would be going out later and coincidentally we will pass by tampines mall once again =)
4.45pm, just as we were about the leave the house, i dropped my dad big hint that we were going to pass by tampines mall later and he got it.*whistles* i was beaming from side to side as i got ready for my game of badminton.
7.00pm Game over. Time to proceed home, or should i say time to proceed to purchase my phone. I could barely wait for another minute ( I'm nuts !!) However, my dad announced that we were proceeding home, leaving me in a state of bewilderness. How could he do this to me !!! We unequivocally agreed to purchase my phone after the game =(, didn't we. Or was it just me ? You should have seen the immediate change on my face. i was already tanned by nature, now it has been elevated to another level. The melancholy news left me feeling sore and sullen. I could feel my arterioles dilate as my face became flustered. Miraculously, the constant taunting remarks from my brother like " oh papa, fang's angry causing you won't get her the phone. Look she's not smiling, not smiling at all" proved to be too much for my dad to take and he finally suggested going to purchase my phone after we refresh ourselves * hip hip hurray * I was exhilarated, and the immediate response to that was to bite my elder brother ! He bit me back twice as hard, resulting in a bruise the size of his mouth (-_-") on my right arm. But i was rejoicing deep within, i didn't care if the bruise hurt and the 47 muscles that i used to frown were spared from being tortured further.
ps( thanks kor..love you !!! )
8.oopm In the shop, my dad queued to get the queue number. I'm always clueless when i enter starhub centre and most of the time i'll just be lost in the throng of crowd. ( No one told me i had to get a queue number right ? ) and when we enquired about E600c which i intended to get, the person at the counter told us that it was out of stock ! Out of stock, its out of stock !!! Of all days !!!! I was starting to believe that i am destined to own a phone. I almost broke down into tears ( drama mama ), i was pratically pulling my hair with such force i think i might need to visit Yunan ( hair loss centre ). I waited for a whole 3 weeks for the red E700A to be imported to singapore and when i finally decided to forgo it, E600c is out of stock. So what do you want me to do now, get a 3310 ? *pouts* i can barely imagine the predicament i'm in.
8.30 After looking desperately around starhub centre, walking in and out for at least 10 times in 5 minutes. I agreed to the nokia 6230, even though i was feeling very doubtful due to the exhorbit price. Everything was unreal to me at that moment. Then just as i was about to approach the counter, my dad spots this dainty and pulchritudinous lady promoting samsung phones. Dangling on the strap of her neck was the E600c and E700A,( talk about stabbing me ). After much contemplating, i decided that the silver E700A would suit me and the rest is HISTORY !!! history i say..history.
Oh how can i leave the sweet looking and cheerful panasonic promotor who almost made me buy the alluring X400. She was such a sweetheart , being amiable and smiling as she patiently introduce the phone to me. She even added " Feel free to appraoch me if you have any thing to ask me kay" even though i was being tenacious and rejected her over and over agian.
9.30pm We were so absorbed in getting the phone that we forgot all about dining out. By the time we returned to reality, we were all having hunger pangs and our stomach were growling ( oh behave yourself hydrochloric acid ). My elder brother had a craving for Japanese food so we went down to the basement but to our dismay, it was about to rest for the day. ( We are your customers how can you reject us ! ) Eventually we settled for Macdonald ( i'm loving it). My dad suggested it ! ( i think my dad is a kid at heart and has always wanted to eat Mac but declined as my mum is around =x) She was resting at home on that faithful day as you may have guessed. We had this engaging conversation on money matters that day after buying my phone which caused (suicide) bomb in my dad's pocket. It turned out rather hilarious as we ended up mocking at my mum instead ( such unfilial kids) !! We were commenting on her diamonds and disapproved her act on spending thousands on stones !!! hee but oh well diamonds are a girl's best friend *wink*
10.30pm Home sweet home with my E700A =)
¶ 2:19 PM
Reminicing on my sec one days, i realised that sometimes, some people are just not meant to be your friend. No matter how hard you try to approach the person, to befriend the person, it will not work out. The relationship will become stagnant in due time, the feeling will fade away. This is the truth, friendship cannot be ordered, similarly to love. Its an irony how some people search in vain for friends when all along they have such great friends around them, sighing everytime they wander off far. Deep down friends yearn that we will return. But all we do is forge new ties with new acquaintances, neglecting the our friends. Why do we try so hard to get to know a person when it is never meant to be. It made me realised that friendship is not something that we can blatently choose. I remember how foolish and childish i was in sec one, i thought that as long as i make the first move, that person can be my friend. So long as i open up first, the person will open up to but apparently these are all one sided thoughts. It took me awhile to get over this but recently as the pain has resurfaced to remind me:
Some people are never meant to be your friend.
¶ 12:54 PM
Some people are never meant to be your friend.
¶ 12:54 PM
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
The trouble with man
Fickled is the mind of a man, and i believe many can relate to this sentence. When you see something that you desire, we have this huge urge to own it but it cannot withstand the test of time. Time,the master of
healing, manages to wear it off. The desire is gone, but another will surface. This is a vicious cycle. We are always looking for the new things that attract us. This is the world that is so tempting and flowing with beautiful things. Just a few months ago, i found the red E700A very attraction and alluring, however as of this very moment, my desire to have it is gone. You may be baffled but yah i have no more desire for it. Isn't it wierd ? i saw the phone today as zhuang,huiyu and wei qiang walked down the handphone shops in bedok. The phone didn't turn out to be what i want, the red is more on the orange side *disappointed* I'm back to my original point, i don't know which phone to purchase. Any kind souls out there who is willing to enlighten me ? But i decided to let the Lord decide for me, so i rang up my dad and told him to simply purchase any phone for me. I am quite surprised that i actually told him that but yah i have this peace in me.I think its the Lord's guidance to trust in Him, praise the Lord. It shows me my earthly desires are temporary and only His word will stay.
¶ 4:27 PM
healing, manages to wear it off. The desire is gone, but another will surface. This is a vicious cycle. We are always looking for the new things that attract us. This is the world that is so tempting and flowing with beautiful things. Just a few months ago, i found the red E700A very attraction and alluring, however as of this very moment, my desire to have it is gone. You may be baffled but yah i have no more desire for it. Isn't it wierd ? i saw the phone today as zhuang,huiyu and wei qiang walked down the handphone shops in bedok. The phone didn't turn out to be what i want, the red is more on the orange side *disappointed* I'm back to my original point, i don't know which phone to purchase. Any kind souls out there who is willing to enlighten me ? But i decided to let the Lord decide for me, so i rang up my dad and told him to simply purchase any phone for me. I am quite surprised that i actually told him that but yah i have this peace in me.I think its the Lord's guidance to trust in Him, praise the Lord. It shows me my earthly desires are temporary and only His word will stay.
¶ 4:27 PM
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
My thoughts on Prelims
Here are my thoughts on Prelims !
1) Prelims are nothing, i can do it ! (weak smile)
2) Prelims leaves one exasperated (-_-")
3) Prelims acts as a catalyst in the production of white hair
4)Prelims kills brain cells ( sorry brain cells )
5) Prelims reveals the sinister characters of teachers especially the setters
6) Prelims results in boost of business for fast food restuarants, airport
7) Prelims are nerve wreaking
8) Prelims makes one curse teachers (=x)
9) Prelims are equivalent to burning midnight oil
10) Prelims might lead to both disappointment and joy
11 ) Prelims helps in the production of tears
END
¶ 1:32 PM
1) Prelims are nothing, i can do it ! (weak smile)
2) Prelims leaves one exasperated (-_-")
3) Prelims acts as a catalyst in the production of white hair
4)Prelims kills brain cells ( sorry brain cells )
5) Prelims reveals the sinister characters of teachers especially the setters
6) Prelims results in boost of business for fast food restuarants, airport
7) Prelims are nerve wreaking
8) Prelims makes one curse teachers (=x)
9) Prelims are equivalent to burning midnight oil
10) Prelims might lead to both disappointment and joy
11 ) Prelims helps in the production of tears
END
¶ 1:32 PM
Saturday, September 11, 2004
Plaza hotel !!! Nod head !
I just came home from having a sumptuous meal at Plaza hotel,indulged in oysters and ice cream. You might think its a wierd combination but oh well i'm still fit as a fiddle..=) i had such a great time with my cousins ! i'm so elated to know that somehow although all of us are growing and changing, there's still a bond that keeps us together. We were crapping all the way throughout dinner, talking about the websites that we visited (didn't know that could be the topic of discussion for the whole night). My other cousin who is slightly older like 30 plus =x came over and chat with us too, and he fitted in very well ( evidence that he's still young at heart and to put it in a bad way, he's childish =x ) Xavier kor don't wack me if you see this (hide hide !) Oh man i'm so glad that we actually had this time together~ i'm grinning from ear to ear now *wink*
On a more serious note, its september 11 today. 3 years since the 911 tragedy occured. 2 days ago, the australia embassy in Indonesia was bombed and very recently, russia was striked by the terrorist too. The victims were all helpless, innocent civilians, and even defenceless kids. It breaks one's heart to see that the one who suffers when conflicts arises amongst countries are its people. I personally cannot comprehend why the targets of the terrorists are people who are innocent. Is it because they are unprepared, because they are easy targets. Won't that make terrorists just another bunch of cowards ? It sends shivers down my spine to see all the inhumane killing going around and the reason behind all this killings are less than justifed. Is war really necessary ? Who is to blame ?
To those out there who has lost a loved one: my heart goes out to all of you. I know it must be heartbreaking to lose a loved one but i hope you know that if your loved ones were around, they would want you to move on and be strong for their sake. God bless their souls, Amen.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
She's feeling very fidgetive. She can't seem to fall asleep. The lights are off, she can hear the wind howling. She wish the wind would gently cradle her to sleep but her eyes are wide open ! Her mind is occupied, her body feels still and sore, but on the contrary her eyes beckons her to sleep. She's tired but something is troubling her. Casuarina thought about him and she became very worried, has something happened to him ? She didn't see him in school today. Could something have happened? She overheard rumours that he met with an accident. Could it be true ? In the silent of the night, all Casuarina could her was her own heartbeat that was beating faster and faster. Feeling flustered and lost, she throws her pillow in anger. All she wanted was to hear from him.
¶ 10:20 PM
On a more serious note, its september 11 today. 3 years since the 911 tragedy occured. 2 days ago, the australia embassy in Indonesia was bombed and very recently, russia was striked by the terrorist too. The victims were all helpless, innocent civilians, and even defenceless kids. It breaks one's heart to see that the one who suffers when conflicts arises amongst countries are its people. I personally cannot comprehend why the targets of the terrorists are people who are innocent. Is it because they are unprepared, because they are easy targets. Won't that make terrorists just another bunch of cowards ? It sends shivers down my spine to see all the inhumane killing going around and the reason behind all this killings are less than justifed. Is war really necessary ? Who is to blame ?
To those out there who has lost a loved one: my heart goes out to all of you. I know it must be heartbreaking to lose a loved one but i hope you know that if your loved ones were around, they would want you to move on and be strong for their sake. God bless their souls, Amen.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
She's feeling very fidgetive. She can't seem to fall asleep. The lights are off, she can hear the wind howling. She wish the wind would gently cradle her to sleep but her eyes are wide open ! Her mind is occupied, her body feels still and sore, but on the contrary her eyes beckons her to sleep. She's tired but something is troubling her. Casuarina thought about him and she became very worried, has something happened to him ? She didn't see him in school today. Could something have happened? She overheard rumours that he met with an accident. Could it be true ? In the silent of the night, all Casuarina could her was her own heartbeat that was beating faster and faster. Feeling flustered and lost, she throws her pillow in anger. All she wanted was to hear from him.
¶ 10:20 PM
Friday, September 10, 2004
an unfuilfilled promise..
let's meet online on tuesday, 8 pm okay? sure sure..see you~ *phone ringS* hey i'm sorry i can't meet you online on tuesday, i'll be free on wednesday though, 8pm ? okay..see you then..
12 midnight..i waited for you until midnight..from wednesday to thursday..but oh well i can't really blame you but hey its bad to make a girl wait for you the whole night !!!! *Double hmpf(s) to you !!!!*
thursday morning..you're online..i didn't feeling like talking to you..haha my childish side took over me, i'm innocent ! so i decided to just talk to you with symbols..you were baffled, weren't you ! " Hey i got to go now, but i'll be online tonight." My reply was " that's your problem, i don't want to talk to you !" but i came online anyway and you cheater !!! you were not online..!!! 2nd time in a row..i waited until 10.51pm to be exact ! Hence, once again you made me wait for you ! I recall the other time when you waited for me until 2 am only to receive a message from me that i'm not going to come online but hey we are even, now you own me one ! Bad person, i feel like wacking you =x..literally..
Friday afternoon..Hello~ you're online again !! you went offline after messaging me. Are you playing a prank on me. That would be 3 days in a row ! Am i obliged to wait for you each time ? I felt like messaging you but i don't have my phone with me =(. That was when i realised i missed my phone, i missed messaging people (maybe you, just maybe) i want a new phone!!! *Mr Salesman will you be a nice guy and tell me that my phone is no longer out of stock*
I'm deprieved without my phone =*!
Ronald Susilo and Kendrick Lim beat William Kristanto and Christopher Pound Nusa in the first round of the men's double for the Cheers Asian Satellite badminton competition, Cheerios !!!
¶ 5:24 PM
12 midnight..i waited for you until midnight..from wednesday to thursday..but oh well i can't really blame you but hey its bad to make a girl wait for you the whole night !!!! *Double hmpf(s) to you !!!!*
thursday morning..you're online..i didn't feeling like talking to you..haha my childish side took over me, i'm innocent ! so i decided to just talk to you with symbols..you were baffled, weren't you ! " Hey i got to go now, but i'll be online tonight." My reply was " that's your problem, i don't want to talk to you !" but i came online anyway and you cheater !!! you were not online..!!! 2nd time in a row..i waited until 10.51pm to be exact ! Hence, once again you made me wait for you ! I recall the other time when you waited for me until 2 am only to receive a message from me that i'm not going to come online but hey we are even, now you own me one ! Bad person, i feel like wacking you =x..literally..
Friday afternoon..Hello~ you're online again !! you went offline after messaging me. Are you playing a prank on me. That would be 3 days in a row ! Am i obliged to wait for you each time ? I felt like messaging you but i don't have my phone with me =(. That was when i realised i missed my phone, i missed messaging people (maybe you, just maybe) i want a new phone!!! *Mr Salesman will you be a nice guy and tell me that my phone is no longer out of stock*
I'm deprieved without my phone =*!
Ronald Susilo and Kendrick Lim beat William Kristanto and Christopher Pound Nusa in the first round of the men's double for the Cheers Asian Satellite badminton competition, Cheerios !!!
¶ 5:24 PM
Thursday, September 09, 2004
I want a friend like ben
Ben by Michael Jackson
Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you my friend will see
You've got a friend in me
(You've got a friend in me)
Ben, you're always running here and there
You feel you're not wanted anywhere
If you ever look behind
And don't like what you find
There's something you should know
You've got a place to go
(You've got a place to go)
I used to say, 'I' and 'me'
Now its 'us', now its 'we'
(I used to say, 'I' and 'me')
(Now its 'us', now its 'we')
Ben, most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I'm sure they'd think again
If they had a friend like Ben
(A friend)
Like Ben
(Like Ben)
Like Ben.
I heard this song yesterday while watching singapore idol..*swoon* i could feel all the goosepimples surface on my skin ! i'm in love with this song ! I want a friend like ben =)..haha okay i know..he's a pen mouse..so ..:P haha..i want a friend who will always be mine mine..solely mine..my best best buddy, *clears throat..Ahem* i'm possessive..yah..but i remember having this conversation with cheryl. Both of us desire to have this very close friend who is unique to us, and that friend will always be there for us, vice versa. Someone who we can confide in without any fears, any barrier ! i haven't met my special friend who belongs to me but i'm waiting =) and this song suits how i feel..*wink*
I'm not saying i don't have special friends now..i have the pentagon, jacintha, my clarinet section esp the sec 4s, all my beloved hee but somehow i still desire to have a bestest friend whom is unique to me..and to my friends who have been there for me..*thanks, hugs! *
go check out the song~!
¶ 9:25 PM
Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you my friend will see
You've got a friend in me
(You've got a friend in me)
Ben, you're always running here and there
You feel you're not wanted anywhere
If you ever look behind
And don't like what you find
There's something you should know
You've got a place to go
(You've got a place to go)
I used to say, 'I' and 'me'
Now its 'us', now its 'we'
(I used to say, 'I' and 'me')
(Now its 'us', now its 'we')
Ben, most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I'm sure they'd think again
If they had a friend like Ben
(A friend)
Like Ben
(Like Ben)
Like Ben.
I heard this song yesterday while watching singapore idol..*swoon* i could feel all the goosepimples surface on my skin ! i'm in love with this song ! I want a friend like ben =)..haha okay i know..he's a pen mouse..so ..:P haha..i want a friend who will always be mine mine..solely mine..my best best buddy, *clears throat..Ahem* i'm possessive..yah..but i remember having this conversation with cheryl. Both of us desire to have this very close friend who is unique to us, and that friend will always be there for us, vice versa. Someone who we can confide in without any fears, any barrier ! i haven't met my special friend who belongs to me but i'm waiting =) and this song suits how i feel..*wink*
I'm not saying i don't have special friends now..i have the pentagon, jacintha, my clarinet section esp the sec 4s, all my beloved hee but somehow i still desire to have a bestest friend whom is unique to me..and to my friends who have been there for me..*thanks, hugs! *
go check out the song~!
¶ 9:25 PM
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
i'm contented =)..
whistles..whistles..jumps jumps..screams!!! i saw Ronald Susilo..i saw him face to face..oh my gosh..arhz..i actually saw him face to face !!!!! can you believe it..i saw him..haha i'm feeling hysterical..!!!!!!!! i didn't think that i could ever meet him face to face..!!!! its was so unreal, like a dream you didn't want to wake up from..drools..!!!! i want to etch this day in my heart ! =) 06 Sept 2004 !
Here's a recap of what happened.. Zhuang, Cheryl, Mal and me decided to go to marine parade for breakfast cum lunch after chem lesson..( and i'm glad we did ) so we ate at the food court..and decided to get ice cream for dessert.. and cheryl suggested pancakes at water something ..( will go and check out the name soon) so we were just lazing around, enjoying the pancake..when someone grabbed my attention.. nod head..yep its Ronald Susilo..i just adore him ~!!! He was walking up the stairs beside the shop..my first reaction was.."oh my gosh, Ronald Susilo", and immediately all of them turned and look at the same direction ! I thought to myself "it cannot be happening..!!" Simulteneously, we burst out in laughter, we were all lost for words and laughter became the universal language at that moment ! when we regained composure..Ronald Susilo was already at Old Chang Kee..( i will patronize the stall more often..*wink wink*) and a group of Chij katong convent girls were already hot on his heels..i admire them for their courage..!! Zhuang, Cheryl and Mal encouraged me to take a photo with him and get his autograph but oh well..i don't know what i was thinking about..i didn't want to..i was contented knowing that i get to see him ...he was like only 2 m away from me..that close..i could have gone closer but oh well..haha i'm overjoyed to know that i get to see him face to face..he was in this Yonex lime green shirt and tight black shorts..!! =)
After he entered the building,Zhuang, Cheryl and Mal persisted and asked me if wanted to look for him in the building but oh well..i was still replaying the scene over and over in my head..! Cheryl decided that we would give ourselves 20 minutes to look for him in the building to see if we were fated with him..hee so we went in and Zhuang kept saying" oh i saw a guy in green" haha he was refering to the cleaner (-_-"). Eventually we didn't get to see him again but i'm a happy little girl or should i saw penguin =)
To Zhuang, Cheryl and Mal..I love you guys..thanks for telling me to go up to him..Hugs..you guys rock..!!!!
¶ 12:48 PM
Here's a recap of what happened.. Zhuang, Cheryl, Mal and me decided to go to marine parade for breakfast cum lunch after chem lesson..( and i'm glad we did ) so we ate at the food court..and decided to get ice cream for dessert.. and cheryl suggested pancakes at water something ..( will go and check out the name soon) so we were just lazing around, enjoying the pancake..when someone grabbed my attention.. nod head..yep its Ronald Susilo..i just adore him ~!!! He was walking up the stairs beside the shop..my first reaction was.."oh my gosh, Ronald Susilo", and immediately all of them turned and look at the same direction ! I thought to myself "it cannot be happening..!!" Simulteneously, we burst out in laughter, we were all lost for words and laughter became the universal language at that moment ! when we regained composure..Ronald Susilo was already at Old Chang Kee..( i will patronize the stall more often..*wink wink*) and a group of Chij katong convent girls were already hot on his heels..i admire them for their courage..!! Zhuang, Cheryl and Mal encouraged me to take a photo with him and get his autograph but oh well..i don't know what i was thinking about..i didn't want to..i was contented knowing that i get to see him ...he was like only 2 m away from me..that close..i could have gone closer but oh well..haha i'm overjoyed to know that i get to see him face to face..he was in this Yonex lime green shirt and tight black shorts..!! =)
After he entered the building,Zhuang, Cheryl and Mal persisted and asked me if wanted to look for him in the building but oh well..i was still replaying the scene over and over in my head..! Cheryl decided that we would give ourselves 20 minutes to look for him in the building to see if we were fated with him..hee so we went in and Zhuang kept saying" oh i saw a guy in green" haha he was refering to the cleaner (-_-"). Eventually we didn't get to see him again but i'm a happy little girl or should i saw penguin =)
To Zhuang, Cheryl and Mal..I love you guys..thanks for telling me to go up to him..Hugs..you guys rock..!!!!
¶ 12:48 PM
Thursday, September 02, 2004
its just me
I've done it..i finally did it..! I have finally, brainlessly thrown away the last memories that we shared.. i lost my phone..all the messages that you sent me..are all finally gone..gone for life..gone forever..! i'll never have the chance to look at them again..ever since we broke up i have never looked at them..i told myself..i can't..i can only do it after i'm over you..but i'll never get a chance to look at them now..they are gone forever..thanks to me..yah idiotic me..i suck ! i give up..i'm just so clumpsy..i can't believe it..i actually left the phone on the bus and alighted without it..I ALIGHTED WITHOUT MY PHONE..i am such a failure..I feel like giving up..its so tiring..i'm tired of being so careless..all my parents says is "be more careful next time,learn from it" Mum, dad, i don't .. i haven't ..i haven't learn my lesson..i give up..mummy daddy i'm so sorry..i'm so tired..i didn't want to lose my phone..i don't mean it.. i feel upset too..i didn't want to .. i don't mean it..i know i have wasted lots and lots of your money..i'm so sorry..i've let you guys down again..i know i have said sorry so many times..but i really mean it each time.. but i just don't seem to learn, i don't know what's wrong with me..mummy, daddy i'm really sorry..i know i have been very mean to you guys..i don't know what has come over me..i love you mummy..daddy..i really do..everytime i do something wrong..i do feel guilty..i don't mean to break your hearts..i want to be the apple of your eyes..but all that i do always turns out wrong..i don't expect anything from you guys anymore..mum, dad, you have been too nice to me..i have been leading a overly complacent life, i don't want to waste your money..i had enough of myself..you may think its self reproach but i'm seriously very upset over this incident ! mummy, daddy, i feel entrapped. i want to be the obedient, sweet little girl i used to be..the naive little girl you guys fussed over..not this ill mannered, disrespectful girl..
And to the special guy in my life..this is it..the handphone has triggered everything..i've lose everything..i know its stupid to depend so much on the messages that you sent me..but i have already lose you.. all i have are memories..memories..the only thing you didn't take away from me..but now that my hp is gone.. i lost every message that you sent me..it was the thing i held on so dearly too..our past was all in the handphone and i lose it..i still love you but i can't have you..i love you so much..i'm deluding myself..telling myself its okay..its not okay..i want you back so badly..i cried when my brother deleted the messages that you sent me..fortunately he didn't delete all..but now i threw it all away..i don't want to..you're special..will always be special to me..i wanted to hold on to the memories because you were the first guy whom i love so much.. i'm sick of myself..no point crying over spilt milk..the handphone won't come back to me..you won't come back to me.. you're out of my life..i'll have to face it.. i'll be smiling again..after i shed all my tears..Jingfang you suck ! there was so many ominious sign that you are going to lose your phone..when i woke up..i couldn't find my phone..i took 45 mins to find it..after searching high and low for it.. you should haf gone to school without it instead.. then my phone was almost run over by a car at the school's carpark..and you didn't pay special attention to it.. still being that brainless girl..leaving it on the bus..!! *sigh*
¶ 4:22 PM
And to the special guy in my life..this is it..the handphone has triggered everything..i've lose everything..i know its stupid to depend so much on the messages that you sent me..but i have already lose you.. all i have are memories..memories..the only thing you didn't take away from me..but now that my hp is gone.. i lost every message that you sent me..it was the thing i held on so dearly too..our past was all in the handphone and i lose it..i still love you but i can't have you..i love you so much..i'm deluding myself..telling myself its okay..its not okay..i want you back so badly..i cried when my brother deleted the messages that you sent me..fortunately he didn't delete all..but now i threw it all away..i don't want to..you're special..will always be special to me..i wanted to hold on to the memories because you were the first guy whom i love so much.. i'm sick of myself..no point crying over spilt milk..the handphone won't come back to me..you won't come back to me.. you're out of my life..i'll have to face it.. i'll be smiling again..after i shed all my tears..Jingfang you suck ! there was so many ominious sign that you are going to lose your phone..when i woke up..i couldn't find my phone..i took 45 mins to find it..after searching high and low for it.. you should haf gone to school without it instead.. then my phone was almost run over by a car at the school's carpark..and you didn't pay special attention to it.. still being that brainless girl..leaving it on the bus..!! *sigh*
¶ 4:22 PM
