Been talking to Mr Eric about our love life recently and he keeps encouraging me to stop worrying and go ahead." The only reason why he wants to be with you is because he loves you,isn't it? Don't think so much, get together and if he really isn't the one then so be it. Cherish what you have now." Total opposite of Ben can ! Ben would say " No, you should avoid this guy". I miss Ben : (

I guess after all the struggle after all these months, we are still not together simply because you aren't trying hard enough. I can feel it. I remember when we just got to know each other, i didn't think twice about getting together because i could feel how important i was to you. Even though now, you still claim that you have feelings for me but it ain't the same. I had to remind myself so many times not to show you how i feel anymore because i guess you just don't feel the same. Just like the chalet, all i wanted was for you to convince me why i should go to the chalet but you didn't. You walked away..

I wanted to throw my tantrum yesterday then i realised that i don't have any rights to. I'm only your friend. I keep telling myself that you are lying to me, no matter what you say i can't seem to trust you. That's why its scary. I remember all the times you lied to me and it hurts very bad.I just want to help you tide over your problems for now.. i want you to be happy.


明天以后, 我会让别人住进我的心

  ¶ 3:41 PM

  Happy 3rd month anniversary dear <3








I really wish we could celebrate it.  ¶ 3:58 AM

  Ben's Gone. Boy's Gone. Two very important people left : ( The outlet just doesn't feel the same anymore. Once in awhile, i sit at my recept counter and suddenly i'm reminded of the times and conversations we had. The silly things they used to say to me and the stupid jokes they will make. I want them back so badly.. I know everyone's upset and i shouldn't be emotional but i can't help it. I miss them so much.






Its not fair.  ¶ 4:02 PM

  Went out with you yesterday.. the moment i saw you, my heart skipped a beat. And i was thinking in my heart " this is the guy i love." Dinner was love, movie was love, the conversation we had was love, the karaoke session was love. I wanted to touch you so badly like how i use to but something kept me from doing that. Even when you held my hand and slept on my lap,i had to push you away. It was painful but i guess it was the correct move. Everytime you tried to get closer to me, i wonder if it was because you love me.It would be nice if we could rewind and start all over again but we can't. Because something inside me tells me that you still can't let her go. Our relationship is getting ambiguous. Where will we go from here, i don't know. Silly boy, let's just take it slow and if there's a chance again to be together, i will let you know how much i love you.


I know i'm going to get into trouble because i feel very comfortable in front of you. I love you.  ¶ 4:05 PM

  And it's stupid, I allow you to hurt me again. Its not okay. Not okay that i'm crying when i listen to happy songs.  ¶ 5:41 PM

  I'm not okay..i miss you.
  ¶ 2:48 AM

  I never noticed this until yesterday..

everytime Fabian buys ice cream from Nihon Mura, he will come to my recept counter just to let me have the cherry on top of the ice cream^.^ just because i told him once that i like cherries.




I wonder why i have been so oblivious to this until yesterday. *ponders  ¶ 3:16 PM