The stars are far away
Sunday, April 30, 2006
From today onwards
I'm feeling really motivated :))
I'm going to get my life back and not succumb to this mundane day to day existence. I'm going to make everything worthwhile.
Shalalalalala i am happy because i found my direction once again. have you?
Is everything getting out of hand?
Am i losing it?
You've been making lots of promises lately..
and when you make a promise..you got to keep it.
*cross my heart* ¶ 7:31 PM
I'm going to get my life back and not succumb to this mundane day to day existence. I'm going to make everything worthwhile.
Shalalalalala i am happy because i found my direction once again. have you?
Is everything getting out of hand?
Am i losing it?
You've been making lots of promises lately..
and when you make a promise..you got to keep it.
*cross my heart* ¶ 7:31 PM
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
A lesson
Okay i'm going to blog it down before i forgot all these feelings again. Its like at that moment the thoughts raced through my head and everyone think i blanked out, that i'm staring into space.. but actually much is going through my head. The feelings are strong but i always forget once i get home. so for once while i still remember i shall blog it down.
Start...
Please do not say this to me. "Okay lar, its all my fault okay ~"
It never fails to irritate me when people displaying such attitude. People talk too much and fail to listen. Our hearts are hardened, our pride has been raised way too far and we do not have the capacity to handle it. We have this ugly hideous huge ego within that we hold on so dearly too and we refuse, okay we simply refuse to let go. We think we know what's best and what others tell us are just useless, biased, unconstructive comments. We don't need anyone to help us, we are all so capable and the best in the world. Like get a life, will ya ? I seriously don't understand why you behaved like that today. I don't have any personal grudge against you and as a matter of fact, i do like you but today you managed very very successfully to trigger this very thought in my head. I just don't understand why must we have this inflated ego within that refuses to listen to others. You simply walked away, dismissing me saying " okay lar, its all my fault okay~" Like hello??????? i didn't even say that. You didn't even let me finish what i was saying and you didn't bother to correct me if i said anything that is wrong. I'm not saying i performed well and you played badly. I was simply telling you how i feel you might improve because i felt you have the ability to and its not like we have all the time in the world. I know i failed you in some ways today but you didn't bother to tell me how to improve. You simply replied with that sentence which i totally abhor ! It reflects a i- cannot- be bothered and indifferent attitude from you. You blamed her, you scolded her, you cursed her, so are you going to do the same thing to me just because i pointed out your shortcomings hoping to help you improve? Why don't you think about how to improve yourself. The ability to improve is beautiful, it portrays determination and the desire to push yourself. Obviously, you think you don't need any advice nor guidance. Do you think she performs well simply because she ignored everyone's advice ? NO!!!!!!!!! for goodness sake, she's open to suggestion and she is humble. She knows that she has the capability to improve and she works on it. She thinks about the advice people give her. She doesn't say " okay lar, i'm lousy, its all my fault." I am pissed not with the person but with your nonchalent attitude. Listen because God gave us not one but two ears. If you can't be a team player, i'm telling you, you ain't going to succeed in life with your attitude. You are a lovely person but please do not show me this attitude the next time round. I always believe that we could talk things out. If they could talk it out, why can't we? They are in the competitive group, we are not. I don't see why they could exchange pointers and we couldn't.. you simply walked away. I'm not going to think about this after i finish blogging and i'm going to let the matter rest but you taught me a lesson today. Having an incontrollable Ego that went through inflation is UGLY !!!!!!!!!!! Human, in general, should really listen more.
¶ 8:28 PM
Start...
Please do not say this to me. "Okay lar, its all my fault okay ~"
It never fails to irritate me when people displaying such attitude. People talk too much and fail to listen. Our hearts are hardened, our pride has been raised way too far and we do not have the capacity to handle it. We have this ugly hideous huge ego within that we hold on so dearly too and we refuse, okay we simply refuse to let go. We think we know what's best and what others tell us are just useless, biased, unconstructive comments. We don't need anyone to help us, we are all so capable and the best in the world. Like get a life, will ya ? I seriously don't understand why you behaved like that today. I don't have any personal grudge against you and as a matter of fact, i do like you but today you managed very very successfully to trigger this very thought in my head. I just don't understand why must we have this inflated ego within that refuses to listen to others. You simply walked away, dismissing me saying " okay lar, its all my fault okay~" Like hello??????? i didn't even say that. You didn't even let me finish what i was saying and you didn't bother to correct me if i said anything that is wrong. I'm not saying i performed well and you played badly. I was simply telling you how i feel you might improve because i felt you have the ability to and its not like we have all the time in the world. I know i failed you in some ways today but you didn't bother to tell me how to improve. You simply replied with that sentence which i totally abhor ! It reflects a i- cannot- be bothered and indifferent attitude from you. You blamed her, you scolded her, you cursed her, so are you going to do the same thing to me just because i pointed out your shortcomings hoping to help you improve? Why don't you think about how to improve yourself. The ability to improve is beautiful, it portrays determination and the desire to push yourself. Obviously, you think you don't need any advice nor guidance. Do you think she performs well simply because she ignored everyone's advice ? NO!!!!!!!!! for goodness sake, she's open to suggestion and she is humble. She knows that she has the capability to improve and she works on it. She thinks about the advice people give her. She doesn't say " okay lar, i'm lousy, its all my fault." I am pissed not with the person but with your nonchalent attitude. Listen because God gave us not one but two ears. If you can't be a team player, i'm telling you, you ain't going to succeed in life with your attitude. You are a lovely person but please do not show me this attitude the next time round. I always believe that we could talk things out. If they could talk it out, why can't we? They are in the competitive group, we are not. I don't see why they could exchange pointers and we couldn't.. you simply walked away. I'm not going to think about this after i finish blogging and i'm going to let the matter rest but you taught me a lesson today. Having an incontrollable Ego that went through inflation is UGLY !!!!!!!!!!! Human, in general, should really listen more.
Peace out~
¶ 8:28 PM
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
I wrote this entry a few months ago and have been comtemplating for a very long time if i should post it. Today i decided to and if you are unhappy after reading it, please do not make any comment because this time round if anyone make any nasty comment, i will be nasty too. but anyway this post is bimbotic hahas so yea. Read at your own risk..
I remember smiling whenever i see you
I remember all the times you took my breath away
I remember waiting for you to come to school
I remember looking around during morning assembly just to see you
I remember all the adrenaline rush you gave me
I remember printing out your timetable just to know your whereabouts
I remember you knocking into me and your hand brush across my hand.
I remember looking at you play badminton
I remember you rolling on the ground after the game of badminton
I remember how you inspired me just by reading a book
I remember the dreams i had of you
I remember looking at you tapping your hand against your leg
I remember the first time you carried a different bag
I remember the first time i saw you in home clothes
I remember the first time you made me jealous
I remember the first time i saw you eating
I remember the first time i saw you queuing up for food
I remember that friday is my favourite day because i get to meet you at the corridor near the audi
I remember avoiding you
I remember walking silently behind you
I remember the first time our paths crossed
I remember the smile you had that i love
I remember the mischievous look you have on your face
I remember you had a child in you
I remember looking forward to school because of you
I remember meeting you coincidentally when i took the pink form for the very first time
I remember thursdays, when our classes were at the same block
I remember staring at you
I remember how you took my anger away
I remember liking all your odd behaviours
I remember how i love to scribble your name on my papers during lessons
I remember feeling sad when you graduated
I remember telling myself to be brave when you leave
I remember telling myself that i'll miss your presence in school
I remember seeing you during oral presentation
I remember the red shorts and yellow shoes
I remember how songs could remind me of you
I remember how excited i would be to talk about you
I remember the birthday wish i wrote for you
I remember wondering why you crossed the overhead bridge
I remember seeing you on a bus
I remember seeing you after your prelims and i walked behind you
I remember you reading a biology guidebook and i wanted to be as hardworking as you
I remember discovering that you can play the piano
I remember how impressed i was
I remember making a badge related to you
I remember trying to be calm when you walk past
I remember liking things you like
I remember to remember missing you
and now i must remember to remember to pray for you
all these were in the past. dated 2005.. ¶ 5:52 PM
I remember smiling whenever i see you
I remember all the times you took my breath away
I remember waiting for you to come to school
I remember looking around during morning assembly just to see you
I remember all the adrenaline rush you gave me
I remember printing out your timetable just to know your whereabouts
I remember you knocking into me and your hand brush across my hand.
I remember looking at you play badminton
I remember you rolling on the ground after the game of badminton
I remember how you inspired me just by reading a book
I remember the dreams i had of you
I remember looking at you tapping your hand against your leg
I remember the first time you carried a different bag
I remember the first time i saw you in home clothes
I remember the first time you made me jealous
I remember the first time i saw you eating
I remember the first time i saw you queuing up for food
I remember that friday is my favourite day because i get to meet you at the corridor near the audi
I remember avoiding you
I remember walking silently behind you
I remember the first time our paths crossed
I remember the smile you had that i love
I remember the mischievous look you have on your face
I remember you had a child in you
I remember looking forward to school because of you
I remember meeting you coincidentally when i took the pink form for the very first time
I remember thursdays, when our classes were at the same block
I remember staring at you
I remember how you took my anger away
I remember liking all your odd behaviours
I remember how i love to scribble your name on my papers during lessons
I remember feeling sad when you graduated
I remember telling myself to be brave when you leave
I remember telling myself that i'll miss your presence in school
I remember seeing you during oral presentation
I remember the red shorts and yellow shoes
I remember how songs could remind me of you
I remember how excited i would be to talk about you
I remember the birthday wish i wrote for you
I remember wondering why you crossed the overhead bridge
I remember seeing you on a bus
I remember seeing you after your prelims and i walked behind you
I remember you reading a biology guidebook and i wanted to be as hardworking as you
I remember discovering that you can play the piano
I remember how impressed i was
I remember making a badge related to you
I remember trying to be calm when you walk past
I remember liking things you like
I remember to remember missing you
and now i must remember to remember to pray for you
all these were in the past. dated 2005.. ¶ 5:52 PM
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Tpjc Carnival
220605
Tpjc carnival ~ FunBlast !!!!!!
I was in school since 8am to help complete the badminton noticeboard and i must say that it looks fabulous now =pPp Thanks to Hendra, Carlene, Shuling, Mich Goh and Mich for helping. *Muacks..really appreciate it and you guys did a fantastic job ! There were like little kids walking around in school with their parents while Shuling, Carlene and me were busy trying to finish up the noticeboard before the opening ceremony. I was pretty amused that there were kids around as i expected like secondary school students and all. Oh well, i love kids so the more the merrier.
So yeppies spent like an hour on the board and then we went to watch the opening ceremony and it was great. I like the whole atmosphere ~ It was a combination of the groove from the music and glamour from the confetti. The school even hired Djs to build up the whole atmosphere. I always like it when there's a school event in Tpjc simply because the feeling of being bonded is evident and we always end up having fun =xXx okay so the gp booth ( and the other booths in the hall ) was pretty neglected and there was a lack of crowd but we had our own share of crapping and fooling around..
like..
1) Cutting the Helium balloon in order to get our hands on Helium so that we can change our voice
2) Singing like mad in CLDDS booth when the guys changed the lyrics of a particular song
3) History Seminar *reenactment* the funny version
4) All the funny screw up and mispronouciation during our Live gameshow
5) Not forgetting RONIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! though i only got to listen to them for awhile but everyone was like so high
6) Doing the mass dance in the hall. *love Mich J* she's good ~ :))
7) Oh not forgetting imitating the pumped up figures with the badminton girls xD *shakes shakes shakes*
Hahas and yes, We did suck in lots of Helium air that day but Ying Liang aka Twinnie didn't manage to change his voice *muahahahahas*
If you're guessing if i tried sucking in Helium..the answer is NO ~
it was enough to listen to the voices of the rest..hee hee
Oh and Mrs Toh is like the sweetest teacher i could ever have. She cooked a whole pot of curry for the whole class =D and even provided us with bread !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm touched ~ *sheds a tear of joy~* And the potato in the curry was delicious. *thumbs up* and Shalina gave me Milo from Mac. Hahas so i had free breakfast that day.
The slight disappointment was that i didn't get to go to the haunted house as it was JAMMED PACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahas unfair ..!!!!!!!!!!! and there were only a considerable amount of secondary school students who turned up guess we didn't have much publicity but i hope that those who came had fun =)
Kudos to all Tpjcians for the effort they put into the carnival =) and even though the t-shirt doesn't have like the best design and all, you'll get use to it after looking at it for awhile
This reminds me of what Hendra said that made me burst out laughing..
Hahas i was talking to him yesterday at the foyer and we were like complaining how plain the design is and he said "Give to the maid" =xXXXxxxXx Super Anti Climax !
I love being a Tpjcian..*beams*
My blog is pretty dead and it lacks appeal~ where are all the pictures..From today onwards i shall be deligent and post the pictures up =xXx hahas
Oh and i celebrated mama's birthday with my family yesterday.
Happy birthday Mama ~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder if i'm allowed to post her real age *looks around* I guess it wouldn't do any harm so here goes ..
Mama turns 47 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahas oh and a baby girl pranced on me yesteday. She's so cute ~ !!!!!!!!! and she completed my already beautiful day.
Jingfang is a very happy girl today
To the guy who tied ballons on the railings..Thanks for messaging me :)) ¶ 4:08 PM
Tpjc carnival ~ FunBlast !!!!!!
I was in school since 8am to help complete the badminton noticeboard and i must say that it looks fabulous now =pPp Thanks to Hendra, Carlene, Shuling, Mich Goh and Mich for helping. *Muacks..really appreciate it and you guys did a fantastic job ! There were like little kids walking around in school with their parents while Shuling, Carlene and me were busy trying to finish up the noticeboard before the opening ceremony. I was pretty amused that there were kids around as i expected like secondary school students and all. Oh well, i love kids so the more the merrier.
So yeppies spent like an hour on the board and then we went to watch the opening ceremony and it was great. I like the whole atmosphere ~ It was a combination of the groove from the music and glamour from the confetti. The school even hired Djs to build up the whole atmosphere. I always like it when there's a school event in Tpjc simply because the feeling of being bonded is evident and we always end up having fun =xXx okay so the gp booth ( and the other booths in the hall ) was pretty neglected and there was a lack of crowd but we had our own share of crapping and fooling around..
like..
1) Cutting the Helium balloon in order to get our hands on Helium so that we can change our voice
2) Singing like mad in CLDDS booth when the guys changed the lyrics of a particular song
3) History Seminar *reenactment* the funny version
4) All the funny screw up and mispronouciation during our Live gameshow
5) Not forgetting RONIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! though i only got to listen to them for awhile but everyone was like so high
6) Doing the mass dance in the hall. *love Mich J* she's good ~ :))
7) Oh not forgetting imitating the pumped up figures with the badminton girls xD *shakes shakes shakes*
Hahas and yes, We did suck in lots of Helium air that day but Ying Liang aka Twinnie didn't manage to change his voice *muahahahahas*
If you're guessing if i tried sucking in Helium..the answer is NO ~
it was enough to listen to the voices of the rest..hee hee
Oh and Mrs Toh is like the sweetest teacher i could ever have. She cooked a whole pot of curry for the whole class =D and even provided us with bread !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm touched ~ *sheds a tear of joy~* And the potato in the curry was delicious. *thumbs up* and Shalina gave me Milo from Mac. Hahas so i had free breakfast that day.
The slight disappointment was that i didn't get to go to the haunted house as it was JAMMED PACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahas unfair ..!!!!!!!!!!! and there were only a considerable amount of secondary school students who turned up guess we didn't have much publicity but i hope that those who came had fun =)
Kudos to all Tpjcians for the effort they put into the carnival =) and even though the t-shirt doesn't have like the best design and all, you'll get use to it after looking at it for awhile
This reminds me of what Hendra said that made me burst out laughing..
Hahas i was talking to him yesterday at the foyer and we were like complaining how plain the design is and he said "Give to the maid" =xXXXxxxXx Super Anti Climax !
I love being a Tpjcian..*beams*
My blog is pretty dead and it lacks appeal~ where are all the pictures..From today onwards i shall be deligent and post the pictures up =xXx hahas
Oh and i celebrated mama's birthday with my family yesterday.
Happy birthday Mama ~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder if i'm allowed to post her real age *looks around* I guess it wouldn't do any harm so here goes ..
Mama turns 47 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahas oh and a baby girl pranced on me yesteday. She's so cute ~ !!!!!!!!! and she completed my already beautiful day.
Jingfang is a very happy girl today
To the guy who tied ballons on the railings..Thanks for messaging me :)) ¶ 4:08 PM
Friday, April 14, 2006
Good friday
Its good friday !!!!!!!!!!! *beams*
i got to sleep to 10am *yayness* this feels good. how i wish i could do this more often =x school should start at 11pm or something hahas.
oh and i think i need a new pillow. hahas both my pillows are like FLAT. i didn't know that my head weigh a ton. have this sudden urge to renovate my room but daddy says that, that will have to wait. BLOP BLOP BLOP hahas..
Oh so its good friday and my family is at a Kelong ( some mysterious island in malaysia ) to spend their weekend there. And i am unable to go due to some plans i have made earlier so i'm alone at home with my maid.
*Stares at my auntie*
*auntie stares back at me*
hahas absolute freedom? (maybe)
Well daddy, mummy, korkor and didi have fun yea =) bring back goodies for me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh yea and today is YASMEEN'S BIRTHDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =) Happy birthday beautiful..
can't wait to meet up with the A02 people later ! we are going to Lao pa sau !!!!!!!!!!!!! whee~
you didn't even enquire. disappointed. ¶ 11:22 AM
i got to sleep to 10am *yayness* this feels good. how i wish i could do this more often =x school should start at 11pm or something hahas.
oh and i think i need a new pillow. hahas both my pillows are like FLAT. i didn't know that my head weigh a ton. have this sudden urge to renovate my room but daddy says that, that will have to wait. BLOP BLOP BLOP hahas..
Oh so its good friday and my family is at a Kelong ( some mysterious island in malaysia ) to spend their weekend there. And i am unable to go due to some plans i have made earlier so i'm alone at home with my maid.
*Stares at my auntie*
*auntie stares back at me*
hahas absolute freedom? (maybe)
Well daddy, mummy, korkor and didi have fun yea =) bring back goodies for me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh yea and today is YASMEEN'S BIRTHDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =) Happy birthday beautiful..
can't wait to meet up with the A02 people later ! we are going to Lao pa sau !!!!!!!!!!!!! whee~
you didn't even enquire. disappointed. ¶ 11:22 AM
Saturday, April 08, 2006
My schedule is mad !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday--> Lessons are until 4.10pm then badminton until 630pm
Tuesday--> Tutoring Yan Hong then Alumni band till 10 pm
Wednesday--> Badminton till 630pm
Thursday--> Tutoring Yan Hong again
Friday--> Badminton till 5.30pm and hopefully i can make it on time for home meetings
Saturday--> Tutoring both Ming En and Yan Hong then Church till 6pm
Sunday--> Church and Piano
AND NOW WE ARE GOING TO HAVE BADMINTON ON SATURDAYS STARTING FROM APRIL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can someone enlighten me ? Why am i always so busy during the crucial period like my A level year?
In 2004 when i was taking my O level..Band was my life, occupying 90% of my time and then the musical came which lasted all the way until July. Way too busy for my own good
Last year i was pretty happy with my schedule. No almuni band, i didn't give tuitions, badminton was only twice a week. I had reasonably enough time to study but not this year. sobs. Why why why why..
I'm starting to feel quite drained. I can't stay awake at home. All i want to do is sleep. Even when i'm asleep i feel like i'm drifting in and out of conscienceness so i wake up feeling like i didn't get a wink of sleep at all. YAWN
I'm not complaining like i hate the activities i'm involved in. Its just that i'm puzzled why i am always so busy when i should be focusing on my studies. Even my parents are getting a little annoyed that i'm always busy. Why must alumni band start this year?? Why couldn't it have started earlier or later. Sobs sobs sobs why now !!!!!!!!!!!! but anyway alumni band rocks and i have lotsa fun. Furthermore, i'm really ill disciplined and i haven't even started my revision.
THIS IS NOT GOOD ~
All these rantings..~ *bleahz
Actually other than being both physically and mentally drained, i'm quite happy to be preoccupied especially when its doing the things you like e.g going to church, badminton and piano
BUT THE PROBLEM IS JINGFANG IS AN ILL DISCIPLINED BRAT WHO DOESN'T PIORITIZE HER TIME !!!!!!!
my studies is so going to suffer if i going to allow myself to procrastinate..
Getting below 30 for my gp essays is so not a warning sign
Getting 23 for literature is so not scaring me ( and for goodness its a practical criticism paper )
Getting below 30 for my comprehension is not spooking me out
Getting 5 for my econs essay is not telling me anything.
NOT ~!
my results are a far cry from what i was achieving last year and my results last year were only mediocre.
Got to get to work soon..really really got to start.
Am i scaring myself ? hmms..
You know how to make me smile without saying much..
¶ 2:26 PM
Monday--> Lessons are until 4.10pm then badminton until 630pm
Tuesday--> Tutoring Yan Hong then Alumni band till 10 pm
Wednesday--> Badminton till 630pm
Thursday--> Tutoring Yan Hong again
Friday--> Badminton till 5.30pm and hopefully i can make it on time for home meetings
Saturday--> Tutoring both Ming En and Yan Hong then Church till 6pm
Sunday--> Church and Piano
AND NOW WE ARE GOING TO HAVE BADMINTON ON SATURDAYS STARTING FROM APRIL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can someone enlighten me ? Why am i always so busy during the crucial period like my A level year?
In 2004 when i was taking my O level..Band was my life, occupying 90% of my time and then the musical came which lasted all the way until July. Way too busy for my own good
Last year i was pretty happy with my schedule. No almuni band, i didn't give tuitions, badminton was only twice a week. I had reasonably enough time to study but not this year. sobs. Why why why why..
I'm starting to feel quite drained. I can't stay awake at home. All i want to do is sleep. Even when i'm asleep i feel like i'm drifting in and out of conscienceness so i wake up feeling like i didn't get a wink of sleep at all. YAWN
I'm not complaining like i hate the activities i'm involved in. Its just that i'm puzzled why i am always so busy when i should be focusing on my studies. Even my parents are getting a little annoyed that i'm always busy. Why must alumni band start this year?? Why couldn't it have started earlier or later. Sobs sobs sobs why now !!!!!!!!!!!! but anyway alumni band rocks and i have lotsa fun. Furthermore, i'm really ill disciplined and i haven't even started my revision.
THIS IS NOT GOOD ~
All these rantings..~ *bleahz
Actually other than being both physically and mentally drained, i'm quite happy to be preoccupied especially when its doing the things you like e.g going to church, badminton and piano
BUT THE PROBLEM IS JINGFANG IS AN ILL DISCIPLINED BRAT WHO DOESN'T PIORITIZE HER TIME !!!!!!!
my studies is so going to suffer if i going to allow myself to procrastinate..
Getting below 30 for my gp essays is so not a warning sign
Getting 23 for literature is so not scaring me ( and for goodness its a practical criticism paper )
Getting below 30 for my comprehension is not spooking me out
Getting 5 for my econs essay is not telling me anything.
NOT ~!
my results are a far cry from what i was achieving last year and my results last year were only mediocre.
Got to get to work soon..really really got to start.
Am i scaring myself ? hmms..
You know how to make me smile without saying much..
¶ 2:26 PM
