Thursday, March 31, 2005
Now ! My life
I'm in a foul mood now. I don't know why. Haven't been updating much either. Oh well, i don't know. Everything is different now. Everything changed. I'm sick of the changes. I don't like the change one bit. Oh gosh, i feel like some pathetic human being roaming this earth, dreading every step. Every step that has gone wrong. Sigh sigh sigh sigh, that's all i know.
Every entry in my blog seems depressing and sad but i'm okay. I still smile and laugh. I haven't lose my smile yet. I'm fine just that i think more these days. I miss a lot of people and i mean a lot. The person might be beside me but i'll still miss that person. I miss the old you, the fun times we had. I miss the pentagon, i miss them being there for me whenever i need them. Now that we are different schools, even though i know they still care a lot for me, i still miss them and wished that they were with me. I miss Van, mal, cheryl and kz alot alot. I miss Hui Chun, i miss Nicole, i miss Xinling, i miss Dian. I miss them so much, they made tpjc so special. I wish we were back in the first 3 months. Maybe i just can't adapt for now, maybe all i need is time but for now, i wish someone would care for me, talk to me and give me a big hug. That's what i have been yearning for, a big big hug. Someone to tell me that the person cares. I guess i'm being emotional again but its so tiring to fend for yourself and do everything alone. I might be with a bunch of friends but its just different, its no much of a difference from being alone. Oh wells, everything happens for a reason. I have got to learn.
Lessons are more or less starting even though its still intro lectures. AO maths is going at bullet train speed and Mr Ong gets irritated very easily. It makes me frustrated to see him so lost and angry. I don't like it. Whenever i look at him, its like the sulky face. Oh yah, now i am the maths rep. yep yep. I'm not happy though. Shruggs.
Found out lots of things that i didn't know today. I'm dumbfounded. I don't know what to say but i kind of expected things to turn out this way. Call it instinct but oh well. Went home and read some things, left me feeling really lousy. The feeling is taking over. I don't understand if its human nature or something. Maybe its just me, this is my life and it happens to me. I think its just me.
Maybe its time to just immersed myself in school work and throw everything out of my life. I know i have a few things that i have to focus on. If i really do, i'll be really busy and i guess its the way i want my life to be now right. Probably. Its like a emotional rollarcoaster for me. I haven't alighted for it though, i'm turning, turning, turning...
I told myself I miss you, i miss you and that's all i know. ¶ 6:38 PM
Every entry in my blog seems depressing and sad but i'm okay. I still smile and laugh. I haven't lose my smile yet. I'm fine just that i think more these days. I miss a lot of people and i mean a lot. The person might be beside me but i'll still miss that person. I miss the old you, the fun times we had. I miss the pentagon, i miss them being there for me whenever i need them. Now that we are different schools, even though i know they still care a lot for me, i still miss them and wished that they were with me. I miss Van, mal, cheryl and kz alot alot. I miss Hui Chun, i miss Nicole, i miss Xinling, i miss Dian. I miss them so much, they made tpjc so special. I wish we were back in the first 3 months. Maybe i just can't adapt for now, maybe all i need is time but for now, i wish someone would care for me, talk to me and give me a big hug. That's what i have been yearning for, a big big hug. Someone to tell me that the person cares. I guess i'm being emotional again but its so tiring to fend for yourself and do everything alone. I might be with a bunch of friends but its just different, its no much of a difference from being alone. Oh wells, everything happens for a reason. I have got to learn.
Lessons are more or less starting even though its still intro lectures. AO maths is going at bullet train speed and Mr Ong gets irritated very easily. It makes me frustrated to see him so lost and angry. I don't like it. Whenever i look at him, its like the sulky face. Oh yah, now i am the maths rep. yep yep. I'm not happy though. Shruggs.
Found out lots of things that i didn't know today. I'm dumbfounded. I don't know what to say but i kind of expected things to turn out this way. Call it instinct but oh well. Went home and read some things, left me feeling really lousy. The feeling is taking over. I don't understand if its human nature or something. Maybe its just me, this is my life and it happens to me. I think its just me.
Maybe its time to just immersed myself in school work and throw everything out of my life. I know i have a few things that i have to focus on. If i really do, i'll be really busy and i guess its the way i want my life to be now right. Probably. Its like a emotional rollarcoaster for me. I haven't alighted for it though, i'm turning, turning, turning...
I told myself I miss you, i miss you and that's all i know. ¶ 6:38 PM
