Friday, March 18, 2005
A letter, D'amore
Its another whiny and useless entry so yep just skip it =D
A letter to you ( One that you will never get to read )
Hello there the guy that i am accidentally in love with,
I never meant to fall for you, i mean it. If i could help it, i wouldn't have fell for you so i could spare myself all the agony that i am going through now. Do you know every night i wait for you, just to say a simple "Hi" and " How are you ", to find out if you are still upset. To let you know if you are hurt, i'm here for you. I always will, you just have to turn around and i'll be there. I don't know if you realise that I actually feel for you, but i guess it doesn't really matter ya. You are always preoccupied with thoughts about her. To you, i am nothing but a passer by. I can leave any time and your life will still be the same. Nothing will change. I know, i know how insignificant i am. From the very beginning i knew that you like her, that you were interested in her but i had to fall for you. I feel dumb but i didn't choose to like you. My heart is attracted to you. I'm feeling really sick and tired of pretending i don't care, that i can just accept the fact that you like her and everything will be okay. I feel that you treat me like an accquaitance, nothing more than that. I'm not even a friend. I tried to reach into your world, to try and understand you more. I would really like to understand you more but i guess you wouldn't want me to. I had to remind myself so many times that admiration should be beautiful but i can't do it. I'm not so noble to pretend nothing is happening. To pretend that i cannot see the things you do for her, to see the way you care for you and the way your eyes always turn to look at her. Everytime i hear about you smsing her or talking to her online, do you know how i feel? The feeling is beyond description. Its like tearing my heart and soul. You are the second guy to make me feel like that. I feel that my world is a standstill, stagnant. I wish you could care a little more for me. Just a little more, like a friend. I would be happy enough but now i guess there's no turning back for the both of us. Am i right? Do you know how i felt sitting so close to you and her today? I felt like walking away, i felt like leaving. I didn't look at you, not even once. Do you know why ? I think i would just start crying if i look into your eyes. I tried so hard, but all you notice is her. I am so tired of trying. i wish you knew how i feel but i guess you wouldn't care, would you? You don't need me in your life that's why i'm leaving it. Yes, this letter is to tell you that i'm leaving. Walking out of your life. Are you feeling happy ? I guess so...
Love,
me.
I look at you, looking at her and tell myself " She's the luckiest girl in the World" ¶ 6:02 PM
A letter to you ( One that you will never get to read )
Hello there the guy that i am accidentally in love with,
I never meant to fall for you, i mean it. If i could help it, i wouldn't have fell for you so i could spare myself all the agony that i am going through now. Do you know every night i wait for you, just to say a simple "Hi" and " How are you ", to find out if you are still upset. To let you know if you are hurt, i'm here for you. I always will, you just have to turn around and i'll be there. I don't know if you realise that I actually feel for you, but i guess it doesn't really matter ya. You are always preoccupied with thoughts about her. To you, i am nothing but a passer by. I can leave any time and your life will still be the same. Nothing will change. I know, i know how insignificant i am. From the very beginning i knew that you like her, that you were interested in her but i had to fall for you. I feel dumb but i didn't choose to like you. My heart is attracted to you. I'm feeling really sick and tired of pretending i don't care, that i can just accept the fact that you like her and everything will be okay. I feel that you treat me like an accquaitance, nothing more than that. I'm not even a friend. I tried to reach into your world, to try and understand you more. I would really like to understand you more but i guess you wouldn't want me to. I had to remind myself so many times that admiration should be beautiful but i can't do it. I'm not so noble to pretend nothing is happening. To pretend that i cannot see the things you do for her, to see the way you care for you and the way your eyes always turn to look at her. Everytime i hear about you smsing her or talking to her online, do you know how i feel? The feeling is beyond description. Its like tearing my heart and soul. You are the second guy to make me feel like that. I feel that my world is a standstill, stagnant. I wish you could care a little more for me. Just a little more, like a friend. I would be happy enough but now i guess there's no turning back for the both of us. Am i right? Do you know how i felt sitting so close to you and her today? I felt like walking away, i felt like leaving. I didn't look at you, not even once. Do you know why ? I think i would just start crying if i look into your eyes. I tried so hard, but all you notice is her. I am so tired of trying. i wish you knew how i feel but i guess you wouldn't care, would you? You don't need me in your life that's why i'm leaving it. Yes, this letter is to tell you that i'm leaving. Walking out of your life. Are you feeling happy ? I guess so...
Love,
me.
I look at you, looking at her and tell myself " She's the luckiest girl in the World" ¶ 6:02 PM
