The feelings aren't gone, in fact, its just getting stronger. Its going haywired actually. Its like a lie i tell myself just to make it through the day. It doesn't help to know about the attention you are getting. I tell myself its unfair that they don't see the you i see. Its unfair that we are seemingly labelled under the same category when what i feel isn't just a mere pretty face. I see another you. Sometimes i wonder if its just a misconception on my part. A you i create out of the shell and i tried to hard to fit you in the picture. Picture perfect. But that's not you and the fact just strikes out. How can anyone know about the depth when you, yourself, fail to comprehend it. An act, a foolish, mindless game? Might be accounted for in this manner but i conclude that its me. I tried too hard. I wonder why i even tried. People tell me that its a blessing in disguise but to me, i know it was a wrong step made. I don't need any sympathy nor comfort from anyone else. your understanding and the ability to co- relate was absent. forced? maybe it was from the very start. A one sided game. Nope, not maybe. I'm sure it was. Its like schoolwork that you hate to do that you never want to touch unless you are forced to. Your background was not the one i pictured, its far better. What i thought you need was not what you really need. Now it has reached a stage of ambiguity.Your needs far exceeds but its not tangible. left me hanging over a cliffhanger. Precarious yet its my fault for venturing. Give me another chance to choose, my choice would not falter. Fate has already decided but my choice would ultimately become a spoilt vote, a mad man's wise words. Yet i will stick to my choice and leave it untouched. Withdrawal signs, probably. The curves from both side represent different things. Evolution left marks on the past but not yours. I think i overestimated the road to never never land.


Jingfang is not happy. You succeeded. Are you happy now?  ¶ 8:50 PM