Many think that they know me but in fact very few do. I guess it isn't important if people understand me or see me for who i am because the world is selfish. This is an undeniable. The world is indeed selfish. We only think about our own interest. Ultimately nothing else matters. We like to be in control. We like to talk about our life but refuse to listen to what others have to share about their own life. We like to harp on our loses but never bother to comfort others when they are on the verge of giving up. I've been disappointed recently and just in case anyone thinks its him, no its not him. I don't need another person blaming him or putting him down cause he doesn't deserve to be viewed in such a negative light. I've been disappointed that so much has changed in my life and no they are not for the better. I wanted to 2006 to start right and to bring new hopes but everything has been going the wrong direction this year. Apparently i cannot do anything to change it. Human efforts are useless and the struggle is all in vain. Is it because my heart has been far from You? so when all these trials come my way, i lost my guide? The devil esnares and cause me to lose my footing because i don't turn to You. I don't want to compromise anymore Lord..I need You. I'm weak and nothing is going right with my own strength. I wish that the world would be less irritating so each day i won't wake up feeling so crappy but i can't keep blaming others. I guess i forgot to look at the mirror today. Tonight seems to be another sleepless night and good night for the last time. You hurt me really bad today.